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Three Ways to Avoid a DUI After the Company Christmas Party

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Don’t worry. No one really expects you to remain completely sober while listening to your boss drone on about keyword density, search engine optimization, and the ramifications of the Google Panda update. Whether you are a blogger, doctor, or McWorker, you’re probably going to need a few drinks to make that company holiday party tolerable.

Other than sexually harassing a coworker, there really is no worse fallout from a holiday party than being late to work the following day because you spent the night in the drunk tank, with DUI charges pending a blood alcohol test. In light of that, and in hopes that no one will drive drunk during this holiday season, we present three ways to avoid a holiday DUI:

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Temperance

Okay, you know how we said you don’t have to remain sober? That’s true. However, that also doesn’t mean you need to down a gallon of alcoholic eggnog. The name of the game is moderation. Depending on your height, weight, and gender, you can consume a few drinks before you hit the legal limit of 0.08. If you taper off your drinking or switch to water after the first few Franzias, you’ll likely be fit as a fiddle to drive after a few hours of corporate cheer.

Taxi Service

This one is obvious, for good reason. You know that Chicago has cabs. You know that driving drunk is illegal. Sure, it costs a lot to take a cab home (and possibly back to work tomorrow, since you’ll be leaving your car at work) but a DUI will cost you thousands in attorney’s fees, court costs, fines, increased insurance premiums, and other related expenses.

Hotel

This is another option that, while possibly costly, is far cheaper than the cost of a DUI. Pull out your smart phone. Find the nearest hotel or motel. Even if it’s a shady No Tell Motel, you’re only going to sleep there for a few hours before you groggily pull yourself to the nearest receptacle and relieve your hangover.

Grab the Bailey’s and hot chocolate. Add some rum to the eggnog. Knock back a Girl Scout Cookie (the drink) or two. Just make sure that when the fun is done, you have a plan in mind to avoid a holiday DUI.

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