Should I give online dating one more try or should I just accept that women will always be evil?

There doesn’t seem to be a better time to brave the dating world than just before Valentine’s Day, in which case a horde of single women become so desperate not to be alone on Valentine’s that for an ever so brief moment, they will lower their usual criteria that a man be 7 feet tall and make 6 digit salaries before they’ll consider dating him. For a guy like me, this time of year is magic hour.

Despite the horrific experiences I’ve had with it before, I don’t think I ever went all in on internet dating. Maybe I took it somewhat seriously, but not to the point that I thought to just keep maintaining the 30 plus dollars a month I paid to stay on Match.com until I finally saw some success. Eventually I would be so disgusted as to simply give up and move on.

But there really is no other recourse, other than to troll the bar scene and hit on drunk women. Forget church, forget book clubs, forget anything else. the only women I meet there are married, have kids, or have such crazy baggage that to date them is akin to using a canister of the Ebola virus as a football. I know I’ve been told if I just live my life then magic, wonderful fairy tale things will eventually happen, but I’m 35 now. When is it supposed to happen again? When I’m 40? 45? 50? At that point I won’t care anymore, as I have no interest in dating shriveled up secondhand divorcees whose looks have long abandoned them.

Because of my personality type (INFJ), I’ve always been an idealist when it came to romance. I believed in the concept of soulmates, to connect with someone on such a profoundly intimate level that it could be perceived as a psychic link by some.

But then I read articles like this, and I wonder what would even be the point. Is it even possible dig through the compost heap of humanity and eventually find a diamond in the rough amongst all the opportunistic, neurotic and amoral women that exist out there?

I doubt it.

I mean I’d like to believe it’s possible, and not only possible but that I could pull off such a feat. The obstacles I’d have to overcome are enormous though, and probably insurmountable. Because it’s not merely enough to find such a girl, she’d also have to LIKE me in return. And let’s face it, I’m just not a likable guy. I might have been, once upon a time, before the cruelty of life reduced me to a bitter shell of my former self, but not anymore. Whatever hand I extend in friendship has always been slapped away. Whatever opportunity I’ve had to show affection had always been turned back.

I guess the truth is I don’t have anything to offer women, else it would be far easier for me to attract them. I guess that’s for the best though, as I could have just as easily wound up in a bad marriage that would have ruined my life. It’s one thing to be alone and single, it’s quite another to be alone and MARRIED. Then you’re really screwed.

I think a lot of people can manage to date and get married not because it’s so easy for them to meet people and finally meet the ONE, but because they settled and married out of convenience.

I’m lucky in that I never had an overwhelming desire to have kids, else I fear I would have done exactly the same thing, crippled by the fear that time was running out and that I needed to find someone, ANYONE soon or I would be deprived a rewarding and long life as a parent.

But as miserable as I am now, the life I currently lead is eminently preferable to enduring the consequences of a bad marriage borne out of the reality that neither of us married out of true love.

I wonder though, if this is how it’s always going to be. That the world has become so evil that there just aren’t enough decent people to go around, such that finding a soulmate has now literally become a mathematical impossibility.

Or do I make one more try, convince myself to burn a hole in my wallet every month, if only to leave the door open for the possibility that I might be proved wrong one day?

http://www.habitationofjustice.com

Read more at The Habitation of Justice