HOW YOU ARE BEING MUNIPULATED

According to Robert D. Hare and Paul Babiak,^[4] psychopaths are always on the lookout for individuals to scam or swindle. The psychopathic approach includes three phases:

1. Assessment phase [edit]

Some psychopaths are opportunistic, aggressive predators who will take advantage of almost anyone they meet, while others are more patient, waiting for the perfect, innocent victim to cross their path. In each case, the psychopath is constantly sizing up the potential usefulness of an individual as a source of money, power, sex, or influence. Some psychopaths enjoy a challenge while others prey on people who are vulnerable. During the assessment phase, the psychopath is able to determine a potential victim’s weak points and will use those weak points to seduce.

2. Manipulation phase [edit]

If you are like most people your perceptions have changed and it is not an accident.  Lets take a look and see if any psychological manipulation sounds familiar to you and if you may be a victim.

Once the psychopath has identified a victim, the manipulation phase begins. During the manipulation phase, a psychopath may create a persona or mask, specifically designed to ‘work’ for his or her target. A psychopath will lie to gain the trust of their victim. Psychopaths’ lack of empathy and guilt allows them to lie with impunity; they do not see the value of telling the truth unless it will help get them what they want.

As interaction with the victim proceeds, the psychopath carefully assesses the victim’s persona. The victim’s persona gives the psychopath a picture of the traits and characteristics valued in the victim. The victim’s persona may also reveal, to an astute observer, insecurities or weaknesses the victim wishes to minimize or hide from view. As an ardent student of human behavior, the psychopath will then gently test the inner strengths and needs that are part of the victim’s private self and eventually build a personal relationship with the victim.

The persona of the psychopath – the “personality” the victim is bonding with – does not really exist. It is built on lies, carefully woven together to entrap the victim. It is a mask, one of many, custom-made by the psychopath to fit the victim’s particular psychological needs and expectations. The victimization is predatory in nature; it often leads to severe financial, physical or emotional harm for the individual. Healthy, real relationships are built on mutual respect and trust; they are based on sharing honest thoughts and feelings. The victim’s mistaken belief that the psychopathic bond has any of these characteristics is the reason it is so successful.

3. Abandonment phase [edit]

The abandonment phase begins when the psychopath decides that his or her victim is no longer useful. The psychopath abandons his or her victim and moves on to someone else. In the case of romantic relationships, a psychopath will usually seal a relationship with their next target before abandoning his or her current victim.

Sometimes, the psychopath has three individuals on whom he or she is running game: the one who has been recently abandoned, who is being toyed with and kept in the picture in case the other two do not work out; the one who is currently being played and is about to be abandoned; and the third, who is being groomed by the psychopath, in anticipation of abandoning the current “mark”.

According to Braiker’s self help book,^[1] manipulators exploit the following vulnerabilities (buttons) that may exist in victims:

• the “disease to please”
• addiction to earning the approval and acceptance of others
• Emotophobia (fear of negative emotion; i.e. a fear of expressing anger, frustration or disapproval)
• lack of assertiveness and ability to say no
• blurry sense of identity (with soft personal boundaries)
• low self-reliance
• external locus of control

According to Simon,^[2] manipulators exploit the following vulnerabilities that may exist in victims:

• naïveté – victim finds it too hard to accept the idea that some people are cunning, devious and ruthless or is “in denial” if he or she is being victimized.
• over-conscientiousness - victim is too willing to give manipulator the benefit of the doubt and see their side of things in which they blame the victim.
• low self-confidence - victim is self-doubting, lacking in confidence and assertiveness, likely to go on the defensive too easily.
• over-intellectualization - victim tries too hard to understand and believes the manipulator has some understandable reason to be hurtful.
• emotional dependency - victim has a submissive or dependent personality. The more emotionally dependent the victim is, the more vulnerable he or she is to being exploited and manipulated.

Manipulators generally take the time to scope out the characteristics and vulnerabilities of their victim.

Kantor advises in his book,^[3] the following are vulnerable to psychopathic manipulators:

• too dependent - dependent people need to be loved and are therefore gullible and liable to say yes to something to which they should say no.
• too immature - has impaired judgment and believes the exaggerated advertising claims.
• too naïve - cannot believe there are dishonest people in the world, taking for granted that if there were they would not be allowed to operate.
• too impressionable - overly seduced by charmers. For example, they might vote for the seemingly charming politician who kisses babies.
• too trusting - people who are honest often assume that everyone else is honest. They are more likely to commit themselves to people they hardly know without checking credentials, etc., and less likely to question so-called experts.
• too lonely - lonely people may accept any offer of human contact. A psychopathic stranger may offer human companionship for a price.
• too narcissistic - narcissists are prone to falling for unmerited flattery.
• too impulsive - make snap decisions about, for example, what to buy or whom to marry without consulting others.
• too altruistic - the opposite of psychopathic: too honest, too fair, too empathetic.
• too frugal - cannot say no to a bargain even if they know the reason it is so cheap.
• too materialistic - easy prey for loan sharks or get-rich-quick schemes.
• too greedy - the greedy and dishonest may fall prey to a psychopath who can easily entice them to act in an immoral way.
• too masochistic - lack self-respect and so unconsciously let psychopaths take advantage of them. They think they deserve it out of a sense of guilt.
• the elderly - the elderly can become fatigued and less capable of multi-tasking. When hearing a sales pitch they are less likely to consider that it could be a con. They are prone to giving money to someone with a hard-luck story. See elder abuse.