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By Factory Farms FEAR the MooCow
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CERN Scientists Find HORROR

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The Hadron Collider back at the 100 square mile CERN Lab in Geneva has opened up HORROR.

The original intention was to smash the tiniest of the tiniest atoms and form a black hole so that it can envelop the entire Earth and bypass the containment units which then they can celebrate and lavish in the victory of atoms spreading out into the world disintegrating everything in an expansion of quick deterioration black hole style… but instead of that success they found HORROR.

The HORROR for the CERN Scientists is that there was no black hole to be formed. CERN has failed in creating a black hole to eat the Earth. CERN is mad and scientists are terrified that no black hole happend. The HORROR of Failure! The Failure of utopian suicide is the HORROR that top physicists fear the most! Oh the HORROR.

But do not worry, our brave and smart top scientists are DETERMINED to create a black hole on this earth so that everyone living on Earth can experience the euphoria of being sucked into one as it expands and eats the entire planet including their makeshift containment measure gimmicks. Now THAT will be a success according to CERN top rated highly paid scientiists who want to feel the love of a swirling atom shredding Black Hole.

Black Holes are safe to stick your hand into one, the same as a garbage disposal, ok to stick your foot in one as long as the blades are spinning at top speed. You will feel the love and joy of atom disintegration… including light beams. If light can’t escape Black Holes, then its safe to jump into one as any creature. Especially when it continues to expand.



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    Total 56 comments
    • Factory Farms FEAR the MooCow

      :cool:

    • deceit me not

      oh moo, they failed.

    • FindtheTruth

      Lol. Funny article.

    • The Clucker

      Best story on BIN. Good work MooCow.
      “Black Holes are safe to stick your hand into one, the same as a garbage disposal, ok to stick your foot in one as long as the blades are spinning at top speed.” :lol:

      • FindtheTruth

        Yeah, that was hilarious, lol.

        • FindtheTruth

          Oh the horror! lol.

    • Beaver Hunter

      Hey, mankind did invent a “black hole” device and we didn’t have to waste billions of dollars of our tax money for it either. It’s called a toilet. That reminds me. My “BLACK HOLE” is clogged.

      • BigBird

        I thought our black hole device was the IRS… But you may be right. :grin:

        • Beaver Hunter

          You are right too about the FED. We all have heard the term “Flushing money down the Toilet.” Only the Fed toilet is made from OUR Gold.

      • FindtheTruth

        Yeah, well I think that a black hole devouring a limb or two sounds a bit more dangerous than an inconvenient toilet blockage.

    • ExposeTheTruth

      Did they receive any God particles from the nth hydro collar molecular bio mass of matter?!

      Has anyone thought to reverse the bipolarity within the hadron collider?

      Lol. Oh my, this is better than any other entertainment on TV….

      CERN = BS

      • Mayhem

        Someone tried that on a couple of the electromagnets and they fried.

        Apparently electromagnets work best if you keep the smoke inside them.

        No worries; 2-4 weeks and they’ll have her fixed so Black hole death porn is still on.

        The end is nearly here!

        • FindtheTruth

          Death porn, lol.

    • Factory Farms FEAR the MooCow

      :eek:

    • Kel Ra Magnon

      LOL fear the Moo :grin:

    • TuffENuff

      Regarding the splash graphic of the Higgs boson, we can conclude that the CERN graphic designer people are a lot better at creating fake images than the NASA people.

      • Mayhem

        Proving that the artist is the smartest person at CERN.

        • HaloMan

          Is that really you, MayGirl?
          HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
          You sound stupefied, per your normal self.

          MayGirl, go stick your head in a bucket of crap and inhale, till you see the white-skinned mangod!!!
          HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
          Idiot!
          Hey, is your address still the same?
          How did you like that post, girl?

        • Mayhem

          Yep it’s really me, angry-injun-FemFatale, and i got a laugh from your post which probably means i liked it. Unless i was simply laughing at you, that is.

        • FindtheTruth

          I think the two of you secretly love each other the way you go back and forth.

        • Mayhem

          Absolutely true dat, FindtheTruth, but it’s nuffin special. I loves everybody just some more so than others.

        • FindtheTruth

          FemFatale is kind of bitchy, though. Why don’t you knock her out once or twice? j/k.

        • CrowPie

          So Mayhem…..I guess this mean you and I aren’t going to the BIN Ball.

      • FindtheTruth

        Did you see the damn all-girl singing group some of those Cern chicks formed?
        See them here:
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Horribles_Cernettes
        And here:
        http://motls.blogspot.in/2005/02/horrible-cern-girls-lhc.html
        And here:
        http://motls.blogspot.in/2007/07/lhc-horrible-girls-from-cern-are-back.html

        It’s all a damn joke to them. Their tunes are kind of catchy, though. :evil: Regardless – they are probably evil like their masters. :???:

    • DOOMSDAY!

      THE ORDER OF ENKI HAS ATTACKED CERN AND ALL IT DOES IS SACRIFICE MORE LIVES IN THAT PLANE CRASH WHOM WILL BE NULLIFIED ANYHOW?

      WEAK CERN! VERY WEAK AND CHICKEN POOPY!

      THE ORDER OF ENKI HAS SMASHED THE LHC!

      WE ARE PROUD AND EVEN IF WE DID NOT WE STILL GOT IT SPIRITUALLY SPEAKING!

      AS ABOVE SO BELOW? SAME GOES FOR AS BELOW SO ABOVE!

      HA!

    • Man

      Hail the moo

    • truthseeker4809

      Horror of failure? Idiots !!!!

      Nothing was supposed to happen !!!!

    • crunchy74

      Miscreant scientists wasting so much money on dangerous stuff…

      Who gives them so much power to run this place as they choose?

      • Mayhem

        taxpayers and voters

        • FindtheTruth

          No, we vote for morons to vote for us via “electoral college”. Screw them.

      • LAYNALAND

        crunchy74 – YOU DO…AS LONG AS YOU DON’T GET UP AND PROTEST ACROSS THE WORLD ABOUT IT…THEY WILL SEE IT AS LICENSE TO CARRY ON WITH THEIR MAD SCIENTIST EXPERIMENTS…SUCH A WASTE OF TIME AND MONEY, LOOKING FOR gOD…TRY PRAYING, INSTEAD…doesn’t cost as much and doesn’t take as much, time and energy, TO FIND hIM…duh…L. :roll:

    • siftingthroughthe****

      Excellent stuff lol

    • Manichee

      :lol: Nice one MooCow :lol:

    • Elekwense

      You expected it to actually do something? And we misunderstand black holes.

    • caoneil76

      This just shows that anyone can post an article on BIN. So much for there being any credibility to this site.

      • The Clucker

        I prefer satire like this over the crappy fear porn Lyn and Lisa and most of the other contributors are trying to jam down everyone’s throats.

      • srsly1

        This was the best story I’ve read on BIN in months!!! All thanks to the GMO Cow that goes moo! Come on over and have a bbq sometime cow!

    • privatess

      get a job this reads like the rambling of a drug fueled psychosis

      • Lord Gourd

        All the more reason to respect it.

        • Big dog.../small fish...

          Laughs!

    • Don't be hating!

      And I thought Lynn articles where bad?

      • srsly1

        as bad as your grammar?

    • Babied

      “IN MY OPINION”, Jesus Christ has “Intervened”, in the plans of this generation! His ways, are not our ways, his timeline, is not our timeline, his plans for our destiny, are not our plans! Destruction Can Still Come, in many forms! :!:

      • Bill Lyle

        Nope, Jesus is on vacation. He’s not expected back, until after CERN SWALLOWS THE UNIVERSE WHOOOOOOLE! MUAHAHAHA!

    • Mondogobbo

      I am the only one who believes that there could be a connection between CERN and the huge amount of sink holes and mystery holes in the last few years?

      • Mayhem

        Probably and would you care to hazard a guess how CERN can de-water the land given that it operates in a confined and closed loop?

    • srsly1

      Hey cow, please make your next article’s title a little more “jaw dropping” and “earth shattering.”‘ I wasn’t shaken to the core enough. Keep up the good work though!

    • Louis

      The existence of black holes is purely theoretical — no black hole has ever been seen. Likewise with dark matter and dark energy — which are non-baryonic (mass-less and therefore undetectable.) According to Big Bang cosmology, the universe can’t function without these three phenomena, so they were conveniently invented to bolster belief in fraud.

      What dark matter and dark energy actually are is angelic influences. Four of the nine hierarchies of angels — Seraphim, Cherubim, Thrones and Virtues — are charged by God to command and regulate the forces of nature, both on earth and in the cosmic heavens. As for what astrophysicists think are black holes are actually passageways to other dimensions, among which may be the passageway to hell, where sinners go.

      Angels were created as part of the universe. When the universe was created, angels were created simultaneously. Unlike angels and humans, God is not part of the universe. He is apart from it and above it, and in no way susceptible to the influence of CERN.

      • FindtheTruth

        Dude, lay off the crack pipe and the hallucinogens, k?

    • PA-LEASE!

      Who Who Who!!! WHO-E-E-E-E-E-E!!!!!! :lol:

    • Anonymous

      Moo for POTUS: 2016

      • Mayhem

        I’ll second that :grin:

    • LAYNALAND

      THIS IS OLD, MOOCOW…I SAW THIS A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO ON THE NET.
      nICE TRY, THOUGH…STICK TO COWS AND MOO-ING…SOMETHING YOU ARE CUT OUT FOR…LOL.

      l. :wink:

      • Factory Farms FEAR the MooCow

        but I put this article in an easy to understand moo language for the cattle like you and other moo moo… now… Eat my GMO :twisted: my squishy Tumor GMO :mad: make your tongue pink like pork chop!

        • Bill Lyle

          You don’t actually think she read it, do you? :lol: :lol:
          Thank you, for the Earth Shattering, Horrific expose, Moo Cow.

    • Cleareyes

      Where is Dustin Hoffman?

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