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By Factory Farms FEAR the MooCow
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How To Stop Being Followed by Goons in Car

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Have you wondered whenever you watch movies or read about those spy stories, the victim, whether you have secret info, no info, or big pharma anything, and usually they seem to be followed by some “black car” or “some car” and then they speed off in some freeway or highway trying to escape from them? Usually the tragic end result is that the victim dies in some high speed crash or forced off the road or something along those lines….but a NEW technique can now prevent from all that from happening!!

 

Well, now the easiest way is to drive on the shoulder going less than 5 mph!! Yes thats right!! When you have a suspicion of “being followed” and you are driving, just drive slower than an old grandma on the shoulder of the lane, turn your hazard lights on and start yapping on your cell phone! Dont even bother touching the gas peddle, let them chase you that way!! You can take the next exit and loop yourself on the freeway at the incredible top speeds of 5mph!

 

Those “agents” wont like that because they too would be exposed going at less than 5 miles per hour driving directly behind you on the shoulder too and it looks too obvious.

Thats all there is too it. By then if a local trooper zooms by he will see your car and another car going really slow on the side of the freeway and he would want to know whats going on and then everybody shows up to the party!

During your slow grandma drive, make sure you have your camera rolling and hide it in your car so that if the suspicious goons who are following you decide to get out of their car and try drooling on your windshield, you can stay in the car and turn your windshield wipers on! If they rear end you, make sure they have good car insurance and keep driving at top speeds of 5 miles per hour until everybody arrives! This way no one ever needs to get out of the car if you know those goons who are following you are up to no good. The secret is stay on the freeway or areas where everybody can see! If goons keep rear ending you, that just means they want to play bumper cars. If you notice they are reversing givng off a huge distance, that means they seriously want to play bumper cars with you so in that case you too would have to reverse and keep the distance very close so that the bumper car fender bender is kept to a minimum. Sure nobody would ever notice that either!

Thats the most simplistic technique if being followed in daylight during rush hour on sunny days! If you are being followed during night time, honk the horn and leave the horn honking as you slowly do your 5mph car chase drive through a neighborhood. People dont like it when they are trying to sleep and they sure will be angry knowing you and the goons following you are distrubing their good nights rest.

 

Bought to you by the wonderful effects of GMO.


Eat More GMO



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    Total 6 comments
    • Factory Farms FEAR the MooCow

      :razz:

      • Sean

        So Much for the – Home of the Brave – part of that Slogan – I think Boston Kinda Made That Very Clear – from One Unarmed Patsy – Don’t Moooo Think So

        :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

    • The Clucker

      Excellent. This is some top-notch journalism.

      • Factory Farms FEAR the MooCow

        Im not a journalism, I just watch looking over some yard fence as I graze.
        _________________
        Eat More GMO :mad:

        • The Clucker

          Ok.

    • Lydia

      Excellent advice’
      Thank you

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