TradCatKnight: The Scent of Feminist Desperation

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In an article entitled “Marry Him” (Atlantic Monthly, March 2008)  Lori Gottlieb advises her sisters to “settle”–marry anything  in sight…and fast.  This kind of abject surrender, while satisfying in an “I told you so” way, is also sad.

Millions of women who outsourced their common sense and trusted the media, their teachers, their leaders and their society are now high-and-dry. They were told they could have it all but most can’t.

There are three times as many single women in their 30′s now than there were in the 1970′s. By the time these women have established their careers, many are too thread bare and hard bitten to marry, and the good men are all gone. 

They are the victims of the most evil, most successful, social engineering program in history. It was  designed to give women career instead of family. But until feminists acknowledge that they are victims of a cruel hoax, they won’t be able to salvage whatever is left. 

I’ll elaborate later but first Ill give you a taste of the wisdom of a woman who defines “pathetic.”

MS The BOAT

Ms. Gottlieb begins by describing a picnic where she and a friend (both mothers of sperm donor babies) are not feeling “satisfied.” Surprise. They miss not having husbands. No doubt the children will miss not having fathers.

“Ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she longs for in life…what she really wants is a husband…” Gottlieb confesses.

While she and her friends “still call ourselves feminists and insist we’re independent and self sufficient…every woman I know–no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure, feels panic ..if she hits 30 and find herself unmarried.”

Sounding very much like a Jewish hysteric, her advice is to “Settle!” Forget about true love, his annoying habits, his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Marriage, she has discovered, is about having a team-mate, even if he’s not the love of your life. She even recommends gays as possible mates.

How did she end up like this? Too much “education” I imagine. Too much feminist empowerment and Hollywood- fueled expectations of romance and men. Earlier in life, she dumped someone because, although they had “strong physical chemistry” and their sensibilities were similar,  they proved to be “a half-note off, so we never quite felt in harmony, or never viewed the world through quite the same lens.”

Apparently, she was looking for a clone.

“Now, though, I realize that if I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, I’m at the age where I’ll likely need to settle for someone who is settling for me. .. We lose sight of our mortality. We forget that we, too, will age and become less alluring. …Which is all the more reason to settle before settling is no longer an option.”

“Take the date I went on last night. The guy was substantially older. He had a long history of major depression and said, in reference to the movies he was writing, “I’m fascinated by comas” and “I have a strong interest in terrorists.” He’d never been married. He was rude to the waiter. But he very much wanted a family, and he was successful, handsome, and smart. As I looked at him from across the table, I thought, Yeah, I’ll see him again. Maybe I can settle for that. But my very next thought was, maybe I can settle for better. It’s like musical chairs–when do you take a seat, any seat, just so you’re not left standing alone?

“But then my married friends say things like, “Oh, you’re so lucky, you don’t have to negotiate with your husband about the cost of piano lessons” or “You’re so lucky, you don’t have anyone putting the kid in front of the TV and you can raise your son the way you want.” I’ll even hear things like, “You’re so lucky, you don’t have to have sex with someone you don’t want to.”

“The lists go on, and each time, I say, “OK, if you’re so unhappy, and if I’m so lucky, leave your husband! In fact, send him over here!”

“Not one person has taken me up on this offer.”

Did I say Pathetic?