North Korea prepares to unleash secret weapon on USA

Shannon Gormley, the heavyweight “global affairs columnist and freelance writer” at the Ottawa Citizen had a global scoop today with the revelation that Kim Jong-Un has a secret weapon up his sleeve; a 6,000 strong nerd army ready to unleash cyber-mayhem on America!

Yup, a nerd army!

Be afraid, America… be very afraid!

And wouldn’t you know it, they’re getting help from those gosh-darned towel-heads ‘o terror, the Ayatollahs.

Gormley does mention one of the flaws in this scenario, namely the fact that Kim Jong-Un is the only guy in the country with an internet connection, and the only other person allowed access is Mrs. Kim when she’s buying stuff on Amazon.

So obviously that nerd army is already set up amongst us, a veritable fifth column as it were.

This got me thinking. Where are you most likely to encounter Koreans in the course of your day? Why, in your friendly neighbourhood variety store, that’s where! And what are those “friendly” Koreans doing every time you walk in?… why, they’re on the internet of course!

Until I read this story, I never gave that a second thought. Now I’m wondering, are these nice Korean families who work their butts off 24/7 overcharging you for everything from rolling papers to newspapers really North Korean sleeper agents? Are they part of that nerd army ready ready to spring on an unsuspecting public on a moments notice?

That’s something to think about… thanks for the heads up, Shannon!