When Anger Becomes The Source of Healing

by Soren Dreier

Bottled up anger can cause havoc if it cannot find its way out of our emotional system. We have to find a way to release it before it inflates our body and mind and causes severe damage, often cancer when speaking of the body, and in the mind often a permanent state of hostility towards everybody and everything.

Anger is an emotional issue, and if we can source code it we will not have to allow it to penetrate and define the wholeness of our life.

Main stream New Age is not necessarily a friend here. It often condemns feelings like anger, jealousy, hurt as low frequency. Even more, it will often just flip the coin on you and tell you it is your own fault, karma, what you have you attracted and so on – so just. Forgive.

New Age often becomes a prison in all of its Don’ts and No-Goes instead of a liberating force. It sugar-coats what it sees as ‘bad’ with cliché solutions that will not contain the problem – sugar-coating a muffin filled with rot and maggots does not make it taste better.

There are levels of engagement in getting rid of anger, jealousy, feeling betrayed and such emotions, and what needs to be said and done in order to release it is the first step. After that we can talk of transcending it into understanding and forgiveness and hope that the anger really flew out of the windows we opened for it.

My question is:

Why do so many spiritually engaged people find it so hard to admit and come to terms with the fact that they have this anger and similar emotions that are New Age politically incorrect?
The answer lies within the question.

So, let us for a moment disengage from Mainstream New Age and all of its Don’ts and get real.

If you’re angry – you’re angry. You need to deal with it and not spread it around as a state of mind you are in, and wasting time painting an angry face with a smiley. You are busted anyway.

I spend some years working with teens who had been exposed to incest from a very early age. Children are so loyal to their parents. The first step in healing that was to make them acknowledge that what was done to them was just plain bad, wrong, disgusting. And that is exactly the way they felt about themselves: bad, wrong, disgusting.

Self-blame for a situation they had no responsibility for, being only victims of the deranged adults. It took time to turn that around. To make them see and feel that. To turn the self-blame into: Blame. Yes, the hard reality. They needed a target for blame outside themselves in order to turn the self-blame outwards towards their parents or family members.

Next step was to actively tell their torturers: “What you did to me is so beyond words, you subhuman low life scum” – and then the healing kicked in. At a very rapid speed. At a mature age, which they have now, they maybe could not forgive, but at least they could come to terms with the fact that they were abused, in a way that they would not seek a self-destructive anger-driven spiralling down into promiscuity, booze and drugs.

Half a year I was talking with a man from Holland. He has severe cancer.

He started to mention how his mother hated men. Saw them as a threat, dishonest, lying scumbags and that programming. She was very generous in sharing her opinions of men with him even before he became a toddler. They lived alone, no man in the house, only him as the man in the house, and she would target him in every situation for being a man, which also included making a ridicule of his genitals. I will spare your insight on his girlfriend troubles; they should be obvious.

It made me aware of why he got the cancer.
He was trying to erase himself – like his mother did, and as mentioned in the start of this post – the problem inflated into his male body.

I started to say: Did you ever tell your mother that she is one psychotic bitch? And he hung up.

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