Pay Up or Go to Jail Day
Okay, I know you won’t really go to jail if you don’t pay your income tax today, but you might eventually end up there if you don’t. *g*
Yes, it’s the annual day for moaning and groaning as everyone in the U.S. rushes to finish filling out forms and sending them—with payment if due—to the Internal Revenue Service center nearest them.
I managed to get mine done and mailed off when I returned from my trip to the farm.
Every year, I have it on my calendar starting in January to get the taxes done, but I can’t seem to get to it until March. But, as I do every year, I will vow to do it in February next year.
Lighten The Load
Let’s lighten the mood and the tax burden with some funny lines about income tax from some funny people.
Dave Barry, one of my favorite funny guys, said, “It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.”
Science fiction author Robert Heinlein said, “Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss.”
Jimmy Kimmel said, “Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.” (Hmm. Guess he should know?)
American humorist Will Rogers said—and it’s still appropriate—“It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for.”
Rogers also said, “The income tax has made liars out of more men than golf.”
Ronald Reagan, a former president now considered one of the best, said, “The taxpayer: that’s someone who works for the federal government, but doesn’t have to take a civil service examination.”
Jimmy Kimmel said another funny thing about income taxes. “When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as psychopaths, and then the rest of us.”
Golden age comedian/actor Fred Allen said, “An income tax form is like a laundry list – either way you lose your shirt”
Jay Leno, one of my favorite late night hosts, said, “Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what’s called a red flag. That’s something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That’s a red flag.”
American humorist Peg Bracken wrote, “Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?”
Millionaire oil man J. Paul Getty once said, “If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead — if you strike oil.”
The late humorist Arthur Godfrey said it best. “I’m proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money.”
Joan Reeves aka SlingWords: The Word Slinging Adventures of Joan Reeves
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