The Backdoor Cover: Week One

Because just watching football is not enough is it.

Hardly anyone wants to be just a fan of their teams and keep up for the whole season anymore. So we devised a way to care about players instead of team by using their stats as points and playing with friends. But then that got boring as well. So now we have weekly fantasy leagues that you can compete in.

You know what’s never going to get boring?

Making fat stacks on top of fat stacks of theoretical internet dollars. Nothing gets you a prime VIP seat in the club and the ladies headed your way like proclaiming that your betting account is fully loaded with make-believe cash. You know it.

The key to making money is cashing out and having a plan to cash out. Sounds simple but the majority of people who bet put money in and don’t ever really think about stopping until their account is gone. It’s not real money at that point. If you want an action account that you know you’ll eventually lose enough that it’s empty, that’s fine but understand it’s what you are doing. The only way to win is money management. But hey, that’s not as much fun is it.

This is the fourth (I think) year of this column. I might not win every week but I win every year. Refresher – pick teams to win against the current oddsmakers lines, usually have between 5-10 a week. Win money. Be Happy.

Definitely adds the element to watching games that is currently lacking no matter how many fantasy leagues you enter or how much you want your team to win it all.

Good luck to each and everyone of you this season. I’m always available to hold your hands on twitter @bryan_CTP

On to the games!

NFL

SEATTLE -6 vs. Packers – People first look at this spread and think “oh man, with all that offense ain’t no way the cheeseheads can’t keep it close” while getting excited about the almost touchdown spread. Seattle is a weird place where they think mason jars are a new thing, so I’m not going against them at home until they prove me otherwise.

ATLANTA +3 vs. Saints – but tha black and gold have Drew Brees! Look, there are a few certainties in life. I don’t care about news that isn’t on twitter, people who prefer smooth peanut butter profile as serial killers and the Saints on the road don’t deserve my greenbacks.

ST. LOUIS -4 vs. Vikings – No idea who that guy is starting QB for the Rams, but I fully expect that defense to make up for any offense ineptitude. Unlike Seattle, the Rams have the opposite of a home field advantage so I’m not counting on any help in that department.

JACKSONVILLE +10.5 vs. Eagles – Getting double digits? Check. Have a running game? Check. (please God let Toby Gerhart have a great fantasy season, thx) Have a good defense? Check. A team the average fan assumes is a dumpster fire? Check. Everything I look for in a big underdog.

CHICAGO -7 vs. Bills – Speaking of dumpster fires, I think the Bills are overrated. Even for a team that is supposed to be average. I’ve eaten hot dogs for lunch the past two days which means not only am I poors, but I feel like I can relate to the normal Chicago resident’s daily life of processed mystery meats and overwhelming depression.

TENNESSEE +4 vs. Chiefs – You absolutely cannot give Jake Locker more than three points on the road. Absolute cardinal rule in odds-making, yet Vegas seems to be trolling the gamblers of America. I was told today I need to replace a toilet so I’m gonna let Shonne Greene and Co. buy me a new one. It’s that easy.

ARIZONA -3 vs. Chargers – Can’t have a MNF two-game slate and not have action on something, so here is that action. RELATED: I will be starting Carson Palmer in two fantasy leagues I waited juuuuuuuuuuuust a little too long at quarterback for this year. When the experts say wait on a quarterback they don’t mean go in a coma during the draft.