Change

I am going to be predictably boring and lament the fact that it’s now July. JULY! The speed that time whizzes by never ceases to amaze me.

Of course, I had to check the calendar (word of the day one – today’s word? Wormhole) because looking outside you wouldn’t know it was midsummer. It feels like we had a very short spring and then have fast forwarded to autumn.

I have managed to waste a whole morning doing not very much when in fact I should be doing Lots of Important Things. So it goes. There is much physical stuff to sort out here as we emptied our entire loft at the weekend in preparation for building work.

Yes, that sentence does strike fear in my heart. Being surrounded by boxes upon boxes (containing things pertaining to camping, Christmas and memories) has had a bit of an unsettling effect on me.

I don’t work well amid chaos. Some order is essential for sanity. Plus, rifling through lots of old things (who knew me and Hubby had exchanged SO MANY love letters) is a bit like waving your hand into a crystal clear rock pool. There are some gems to be had but mostly you can’t see clearly because everything’s been muddied.

There is a lot of detris floating around, mostly centering around lost opportunities and people. I’m sure things will settle down soon. I just never imagined getting rid of stuff would really have such an effect.

It’s funny, I’ve been thinking, how life changing events seem quite innocuous at the time but it’s only on looking back that you realise their impact on your life, of roads taken as a result of that small event.

And so it happened with me back in March. Around the time, I think, that I stopped blogging here and generally fell out of love with the whole shebang.

Now here I am plotting the next five or six years of my life, something that is so alien to me. I am hoping my future will include university. Which one and doing what has still to be decided but it’s exciting and scary in equal measure.