Potpourri of Miscellaneous Topics

Only on Friday the 13^th – Pants on the Ground

A friend brought my daughter (at her workplace) a super-cute Hello Kitty birthday cake. When her friend was taking a picture of my daughter holding the cake, she accidentally dropped it on the floor!

My son (her brother) chimed in:

There is another side to the story of “Here is what happens when your birthday is on Friday the 13th….” A sister goes to lunch with her big brother, sister-in-law, and almost one-year-old nephew at a restaurant for lunch followed by dessert at a very expensive cupcake establishment. Everyone has fun. They ate lunch and cupcakes with no food falling on the ground. See, it is possible to have your birthday and eat your cake too on Friday the 13th without incident! About the cake on the ground, I agree that the 10-second rule applies. I think, though, I might make this a 20-second rule to allow a little more time to pick up as much cake as possible plus the fact that it is birthday cake.

Then, I chimed in. Should you ever drop a cupcake on the ground, if you pick it up fast enough (in microseconds) without anyone seeing you (that is the key), there will be no germs on it. No kidding! Hence, it would be okay to feed it to a one-year-old child.

The only thing worse than being caught with your cake on the ground is being caught with your pants on the ground. To wit, here is General Larry Platt’s song that went viral on the Internet:

Pants on the ground

Pants on the ground

Lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground

With the gold in your mouth

Hat turned sideways

Pants hit the ground

Call yourself a cool cat

Lookin’ like a fool

Walkin’ downtown with your pants on the ground

Get it up, hey!

Get your pants off the ground

Lookin’ like a fool

Walkin’ talkin’ with your pants on the ground.

Get it up, hey!

Get your pants off the ground

Lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground.

Check out General Larry Platt on this American Idol tryouts video singing and dancing his now world famous song, “Pants on the Ground”: www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDgDTEy6yfc.

Burnt Cookies

I always take and eat the burnt toast, cookies, steak, and everything else, not because I am a nice or good person, but because I like burnt food. I like my cookies crispy, so whenever my wife forgets the cookies in the oven too long, they end up crispy and sometimes burnt. Yummy! However, I hear that charred anything is more carcinogenic than otherwise. Oh, well! I will die happy anyway.

Stamp Hoax

I do not suppose one could use it to send letters, right? Assuming that we cannot use these stamps for mailing letters, then, what Snopes.com had verified was misleading. I think the question writer did not phrase the question correctly to Snopes.com. It seems that if we can make the stamps at Zazzle, we can also make at Zazzle exact replicas of authentic stamps and use them without the post office workers noticing the counterfeit. Something does not ring right here. It looks like they can also print U.S. currency, and some people could screw others with it.

Goodbye to a True Genius – great Latin American writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez

When we stop the misguided progressives and end their efforts to establish a Marxist-socialist America for us, I will consider my work done on this earth. Then, the genius who said goodbye in a beautiful PowerPoint presentation (i.e., Gabriel Garcia Marquez) will also represent my goodbye to all of you. I hope we can eradicate this national cancer soon as I want to go away and enjoy the remainder of my days on earth. Until then, I will continue the fight until the end. As General George Washington said, “Victory or death!”

Watch for Democrat Shenanigans

Watch for the Democrats dropping an “October bomb” on the Republicans two weeks before the election on November 2, 2010. That’s how they operate—very dirty, not to mention Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN), Service Employees International Union (SEIU), and New Black Panther Party (NBPP) doing their dirty work in the battleground states to steal the elections again as they did in 2008. The Democrats are desperate, and desperate people will do desperate things (legal or illegal) to get the win. So, expect many shenanigans to be going on in October 2010.

Build the Ground Zero Mosque

Regarding the Ground Zero Mosque, we should think outside of the mosque box. I think we should do as the Russians did to the American Embassy in Moscow. Build the Ground Zero Mosque building and get the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) clandestinely to infest the building with hidden cameras, bugs, and other such intelligence-gathering devices. Then, we can catch the Muslims in the act of conducting subversive acts, meetings, conversations, and so on within the mosque. We can then arrest all those terrorists and traitors under the guise of acting as phony American citizens, jail them at Guantanamo Detention Center (Gitmo), and throw away the keys. Problem solved.

To Our Wounded Warriors

Dear Wounded Warrior,

I greatly appreciate your great sacrifice in defending our country and preserving our freedoms and liberties. Thank you so very much for your dedication and service to our country. May God be with you always to help make the path easier for you as you deal with your injuries? You are a great American, a patriot, and a hero. We love you so.

Sincerely,

Bob Uda, USAF Veteran

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“If ever [a] time should come when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin.” ~ Samuel Adams