Lake Erie Granted Human Rights

Congratulations to Lake Erie, which has achieved the human status denied to unborn babies:

Voters in Toledo, Ohio, have become the first in the nation to grant a lake the same rights as a human being.

A special election passed the Lake Erie Bill of Rights, giving the lake “the right to exist, flourish and naturally evolve.”

What exactly is H2O supposed to do with human rights? Nothing. But activists and bureaucrats will do plenty on the water’s behalf.

The new law gives citizens of Toledo the right to sue any other person, farm or corporation violating the lake’s rights — such as a company, farm or government municipality that is polluting the lake.

As usual with liberal laws, lawyers win while wealth-producers lose.

“Nothing is spelled out as to what constitutes harm,” said Joe Cornely, a spokesman for the Ohio Farm Bureau. “This allows any citizen who feels a business, citizen or farm is harming the lake to sue. Farmers will have the constant threat of a lawsuit and financial penalties.”

Farms in the area will find it hard to guarantee that none of their fertilizer has ended up in the lake as runoff. But what do we need farms for? Let them eat moonbattery!

Some rivers already have human rights: the Whanganui in New Zealand and the Ganges and Yamuna in India. Coming soon: human rights for plants. Then maybe crops can sue Lake Erie for denying them fertilizer.

On a tip from Steve T.

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