UK Police Take the Silliest of Victory Laps Over Protecting Citizens From a Decent BBQ

A quick glance into just how silly the UK has become in terms of crime prevention can be seen in a single tweet sent by Regents Park Police in Camden.

The tweet contained an update as to what the police had accomplished that day, and included with it a photo of items they had secured for safety. If you were to just read the text update, you would believe that the police had seized heinous and deadly weapons.

“Yesterday we conducted weapons sweeps, dealt with a person injured from a van reversing on them, reported a burglary and collected all these from @scope charity shop who diligently didn’t want them to get into the wrong hands & disposed of correctly & safely,” read the tweet.

What they really had confiscated was utensils you’d find in your everyday kitchen. This includes bread knives, carving forks, steak knives, a couple of steel honing rods, and — horror of horrors — a spoon.

Yesterday we conducted weapons sweeps, dealt with a person injured from a van reversing on them, reported a burglary and collected all these from @scope charity shop who diligently didn’t want them to get into the wrong hands & disposed of correctly & safely pic.twitter.com/GNfxZd6iGd

— Regents Park Police (@MPSRegentsPark) May 14, 2019

That’s right, folks. UK police have saved those under its care from the ever-present and monumentally dangerous threat of a BBQ.

To be fair, some of the blades posted in the photo are weapons, such as the rapier and what appears to be a tanto. However, as a Texan living in a state where it’s legal to strap a bastard sword and a rifle to your back and go walking around town, this comes off as overdramatic. One of the swords is clearly for decorative purposes.

This isn’t the first time Regents Park Police have bragged about, and posted a photo of, seized everyday items. In April of last year, the PD posted a picture of a pair of scissors, pliers, and screwdrivers. This was the result of what they called a “weapons sweep,” and assured everyone that they were “safely disposed of and taken off the streets.”

These items were found during a #weaponSweep near #MackworthHouse #AugustasSt during #OpSceptre . Safely disposed and taken off the streets pic.twitter.com/53HdeqMKu1

— Regents Park Police (@MPSRegentsPark) March 16, 2018

I get that the UK has had a 52 percent spike in knife crime. It’s easy to see why. With guns banned throughout the country, criminals intent on doing people harm will naturally begin reaching for the next best thing.

What I don’t get is why the UK insists on doing two things. For one, why are they asking everyday citizens to turn in knives? They’re already lacking the best means of self-defense thanks to the firearm ban, but now it’s all about giving up your second means of defense? Do they think that criminals would be as good-natured as everyone else? I think with the aforementioned 52 percent spike in knife crime, we have the answer here. It’s so illogical it boggles the mind.

Still, the UK insists that people dispose of their knives as if that’s going to keep people safe. They even put “knife bins” up around the country. Surprising no one, criminals broke into one and took those knives.

Secondly, why are they going so far as to engage in the dramatics of pretending they’re keeping the UK citizenry safe by confiscating scissors, pliers, bread knives, and SPOONS?

Are they protecting the country from the scourge of freshly sliced sourdough and straightly cut paper? Should citizens be on the lookout for roving gangs of ne’er-do-wells eating other people’s morning bowl of cereal?

Well, rest easy, Britain. Heroes watch over you.

Tis a silly place.

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