13-Time Felon Accidentally Shoots Himself in the Testicles While Carrying Drugs in His Anus – As You Do

When you’re carrying drugs in your anus, it’s best not to shoot yourself in the testicles.

So goes the conventional wisdom, apparently not twice heard by 27-year-old Cameron Jeffrey Wilson.

The 13-time convicted felon was walking around his Cashmere, Washington apartment in April, toting a balloon full of marijuana in his colon — as one does — when his pistol accidentally discharged.

The bullet went right into his sack — and I don’t mean the “knap” kind.

According to a probably cause affidavit filed April 16th, while doctors treated his gunshot wound to the jewels, the rubber bag of weed fell out of his rectum.

Just another day in the ER, I suppose.

Purportedly, before heading to the hospital with his bulleted balls, Cameron had given the gun to a friend for safekeeping. Having been convicted of felonies 13 times before, he knew possessing a firearm was a no-no.

But Chelan County Sheriffs’ detectives got word of the butt bag and ball blowout. Subsequently, they searched his car at the hospital and discovered methamphetamines in the pocket of a bloody pair of jeans.

A warrant was issued for possession of a firearm and unlawful possession of meth. Cameron was charged April 16th. He turned himself in on the 18th.

And that’s the end.

Just kidding: During a strip search at the jail, another pot balloon fell out of his corn hole.

There goes another charge — possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility.

As reported by The Wenatchee World, investigators were listening in on Cameron’s phone calls to his girlfriend while in jail, during which he told her not to cooperate with the cops.

Boom: Four counts of tampering with a witness.

Each of the three incidents will be separate cases in superior court.

Thirteen-time convicted felon Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, 27, allegedly hiding drugs in butt accidentally shoots himself in testicles https://t.co/EazdDuSN40

— American Nationalist #MAGA (@PlethoraMounds) May 23, 2019

On July 9th, Cam pleaded not guilty to the tampering charges, having done the same regarding the other counts on May 1st.

He’s being held on $110,000 ball. I mean, tail. I mean, bail.

Cameron’s clearly an overachiever — that many convictions at 27 is quite the feat. Congratulations to him on also joining what I must assume is the very, very short list of people who’ve shoved drugs up their butt and then shot themselves in the nuttiest place to point a gun.

#NotLikeTheOtherKids

-ALEX

See 3 more pieces from me:

Lesbian Couple Identifying As Straight Couple Prepares To Transition 5-Yr-Old Son Into A Daughter

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