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Safety First: Ending and Grieving an Abusive Relationship

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October 10th, 2018

By Jennifer Deisher

Contributing writer for Wake Up World

Emotional abuse may not be as easy to recognize as physical abuse, but it can be even more damaging. It affects you emotionally, psychologically, physically and spiritually — and it makes you feel crazy as you unravel the truth.

Grief is a most unpopular yet vital topic of discussion. Maybe our tendency to shy away from facing grief openly is why society has a hard time honoring the process, especially when it comes to complicated grief. No one ever tells you to prepare for grief as you would prepare for the convergence of a hurricane. And sometimes grief shows up unexpectedly in any number of ways; like the angel of death on a beautiful October day at the end of a Hawaiian vacation. Ideally, we know grief is coming in some way and have the foresight to make room in our lives for the storm, such as preparing for the death of an elderly family member or — importantly — leaving an abusive relationship.

As it pertains to abuse, preparing to end or ending an abusive relationship is tricky. In these situations, you may feel powerless but proper preparation allows you the edge required to move forward and get back to the joy of living life to its fullest potential.

The process of grief is ultimately about coming to a place of acceptance. There are many milestones along the path where pieces of acceptance come. It won’t come all at once or the way we like it. It is about acceptance, after all. If it were easy, we wouldn’t have to take a journey to get there. So, as with any trip, we prepare accordingly. Grief is a trip, sometimes even reaching psychedelic proportions. The more we resist it, the more it will let us know we’re still trippin’. But, we can map out a plan of action where we consider our options and gather the tools we need to prepare our emotional, spiritual, mental and physical house for the storm to come.

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