..... *silence* .....

I don’t know what is wrong with me lately… I just don’t feel like discussing much these days. Like I said, it’s as if breaking my foot somehow broke my HEAD. Dumb, but– hey, I’m saying I don’t get it either!

The sole exception may be my talking more lately to Hazelwindows, an LJ friend. We can get going on some things. I talk to Robin still a little bit. But I barely talk to my roomies lately and they’re starting to notice how quiet I am these days. I think Cat’s starting to get a little impatient because I’m not responding much to what she’s talking about. I apologize, and say, “I’m just not with it lately!” and she’ll sort of humph to herself.

I really can’t help it, though! Not being able to pace the floor and dance and do things on my feet is closing down another part of my brain to some extent. Sounds crazy, but I swear I’m earnest.

Days where I’m productive usually mean I’m walking around the house talking aloud to myself (when alone– don’t want to freak the roomies TOO much…) and taking care of chores maybe. But I move and think a LOT. Thoughts will be generated, and then I’ll sit later and write down those thoughts. Even dancing to music seems to loosen me up and help me move forward cognitively.

Frustrated with myself lately, I’ve been putting on headphones or earbuds and “chair dancing”– using my arms and back to sway and flail to music. That can help a little at times. I’ve also tried getting into my wheelchair and pacing around by rolling. That helps a little too, especially on nice days when I need some fresh air and sunshine working a little magic for me. It helps, but not nearly enough.

I don’t feel like talking! Or writing! Which for me is really, really weird! Because normally I can not even begin to shut down the ongoing monologue (and sometimes dialogue) in my head. I channel that into writing and conversations- even with myself!- and that just keeps things interesting. Now I’m confined for a few weeks and my verbal stuff is just partially shut down.

My mood is okay. I’m not depressed or angry– just sort of here, hanging out, passing time…

At least I can assume that if movement is so central to my cognition, that should mean that as I recover from this (hopefully starting 3 weeks from now when I will likely get a boot) my normal enthusiasm and verbosity should return.

Let’s hope. I’m boring the shit out of myself being this way.