Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Thoughts of suicide run through my mind, hurt fills my heart
and pain is now my best friend.  I’ve
been hurting for so long until now I’m numb to everything.  Drowning in pain I find myself trapped in a
world of misery, I hold the key to the cell, but the hurt keeps me sitting in a
corner like a helpless child.  I’ve
prayed for help, a breakthrough and deliverance, but nothing seems to be
happening.  The world I’ve worked so hard
to build is crumbling right before my eyes, but no one seems to see I’m
crumbling right along with it. 

Right now I’m hanging on by a thread and the only thing
getting me through the day is my faith in the fact God is going to turn this
around for my good.  I’m on an emotional
roller coaster, broken, hurting and I’m ready to give up.  Every morning I dread going through the
day.  Life has become so draining and I’m
tired of having to live my life as though nothing is going wrong. 

I’m tired of doing the right thing; tired of treating those
who purposely and maliciously set out to harm me with respect and kindness, and
I’m tired of getting my heart broken by those who say they love me.  I’m reached a place I feel if one more thing happens,
I’m going to break … I can’t take it anymore…

So you’re wondering why I’ve called this post “Don’t Ask,
Don’t Tell”.  Well it’s because no one
ever ask if I’m okay, so I never tell them I’m not.  They never ask if I need anything, so I never
tell them I need help.  They never ask if
I want to talk, so I never tell them I need someone to listen.  They don’t ask, so I don’t tell… 

The truth is… I find strength in what I know God can do,
even though I feel He has left me all alone, I find strength in what I’ve seen
Him do not only for others, but myself. 
I wanted to share my feelings with you because everyone is not where I
am.  Some of your friends and family
members are going through exactly what I am, but you never ask.  Not sure if you’re so consumed with what you’re
going through or not, but you don’t ask and they don’t tell.  Tears are rolling down my face because I know
how they are feeling, so I say to you, ask the questions.  Don’t take for granted things are okay, don’t
wait until something happens to say “I should have seen the signs” or “I should
have been a better …..  to them”.  “Ask” and I promise they are going to “Tell”…  #DontAskDontTell