What happens when Black mothers follow the rules?

by Ty-Licia Hooker

In June, I submitted an interdistrict transfer application for my daughter to attend Transitional Kindergarten in Berkeley Unified School District.

After my transfer was approved by my home district, I called Berkeley Unified’s enrollment office to ask what came next. I was told I was on a waiting list and should expect to hear something by the second week of September.

School started in August.

September came.

And I heard nothing.

When I called again on September 11, I wasn’t met with support. I was met with dismissal.

I was told I should have checked the website for next steps.

I explained that I had called months earlier and followed the instructions I had been given. After being placed on hold, I suddenly received an email containing enrollment paperwork that likely should have been sent to me back in June. The form took me less than 15 minutes to complete.

Had I received it earlier, it would have been completed earlier.

The following day, I called to confirm my paperwork had been received.

That conversation left me confused.

I was told I didn’t need to call every day to check on my daughter’s status, despite the fact that I had not been calling every day, and that I should check my emails. When I asked what email address would be contacting me and when I could expect an update, I was told my daughter could remain on a waitlist until October 23 or I could simply try again next year.

Trying to understand what had happened, I asked if there was something I had missed or did wrong. The response? I was told I should learn how to read so I could read the website.

When I asked the employee over the phone for her name, I was told that was irrelevant, as she had been working there for 10 years and knew what she was doing.

When I asked who monitored the enrollment email, I was told, “A human.”

As a Black mother, I left that conversation feeling disrespected, discredited and humiliated.

And it made me wonder:

If this is how a Black woman with a master’s degree is treated while attempting to navigate a school enrollment process, what are other Black mothers, fathers or caregivers experiencing?

What happens to those of us who don’t know which questions to ask or who don’t have flexible work schedules? Or what happens to those who encounter this treatment and simply give up?

Berkeley has schools named after Rosa Parks and Malcolm X, two people who dedicated their lives to challenging barriers and expanding access.

Yet I found myself asking: What would they think about how Black families are treated when trying to access those opportunities today?

Malcolm X famously once said, “Education is the passport to the future.” In that same speech, he warned that Black children were being “criminally shortchanged” by America’s public education system and urged Black families to take advantage of every educational opportunity available.

That speech was given in 1964. Over 60 years later, his words still resonate. This experience was never just about one student and one enrollment experience.

Although Berkeley is often celebrated as one of the most sought-after districts in the Bay Area, Black students remain a small percentage of enrollment throughout the district. The question is not whether Berkeley values diversity in theory. I believe they do, but in practice, do Black families still have a space in Berkeley?

This was a strong reminder to me that no matter how educated you are in this country, you are still Black, and Black families are still being denied access when we seek opportunities for our children. I think about Kelly Williams-Bolar, the Ohio mother who was prosecuted after using her father’s address so her daughters could attend a better-performing school district.

So what is the cost of Black parents seeking a better education for their children? For some of us, the answer has been criminalization. For others, humiliation. And for too many of us, it is the message that opportunity exists — but not for us.

What do we want?

I want Black parents to be treated with dignity when they advocate for their children.

I want schools named after Black leaders to honor not only their names but their values.

I want Black children to have genuine access to educational opportunities.

And I want school districts everywhere to remember that behind every enrollment application is a family trying to do the best for their child.

I deeply understood when Rosa Parks said that she was a “person with dignity and self-respect, and I should not set my sights lower than anybody else just because I was Black.”

In my case, I did everything the right way. I followed the process. I made the calls. I submitted the paperwork.

And if this is what doing it the right way looks like, then let’s stop asking Black families to engage in systems meant to shut them out.

Ty-Licia is an educator, a mother, and a contributing writer for the San Francisco Bay View

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Source: https://sfbayview.com/2026/10/what-happens-when-black-mothers-follow-the-rules/