I will agree that we were far from ready to deal with the worst winter in 20 years. The winter has taken it’s toll on me. Emotionally I am rebounding, physically I am set back. No, not my knee. That gets stronger and I have seen more flexibility as time has worn on. There are days that someone brushing up against the skin makes me cringe, thousands of hot needles scratching the surface. Other days the muscle behind my knee is stiff and sore, making walking more difficult. I still can’t run, but I can scurry with the best of them.
It’s the weight loss that everyone is glad to see that is the problem. The truth is, I really don’t eat. I am lucky to have a sandwich once a day. I could eat more, but I have three growing boys, they need the food more than I do. I, like so many moms out there, sacrifice a huge portion (if not all) of their meals to ensure the health and happiness of our families. I have gotten very good at hiding it from Husband. You are correct in the assumption that they don’t know. It’s not that they aren’t paying attention, it’s that they are use to me eating as I cook, or having a migraine that keeps me from eating. Though last night, Husband caught me not having any dinner, and basically forced me to have some of his. But he expends more energy than I, and he needs it. Yes, some days it makes me cranky, some days. I am more tired than I should be. But this is the reality of what I have to do. Take no pity, this is my choice.
Spring is encroaching on the holler however. The turkeys are returning and wild foods are starting to erupt. A garden is in the planning stages, and things will be back to normal soon.
The motorcycle shop has also seen an uptick of work. Apparently those we need to know; those that know everyone, and are liked by everybody, have been coming in. We make them happy, we get more business from their buddies. Husband has put applications in at a few other shops. They are very pleased to see him. Some even knew who he was. But they don’t seem to believe that he is willing to take work for less than what the last shop paid him. He tries to point out that the shop that fired him paid him way less that the shop before and the shop after. But in their minds they see that large wage and I guess get uneasy. We just have to have faith in the shop.
I haven’t had a job outside the home in 10 years. Makes finding something for me even harder. I work to keep the shop going, selling off many of the things we brought with us to stay above water. I will admit, we should have done things differently. But here we are, and I can only make the best of what I have.
The boys are growing like crazy! Small still loathes school; the teacher mainly. Both Medium and Large are on their second girlfriends now. And Husband had a birthday on Sunday. I had enough items to make some brownies for him.
We trudge on. Waiting for that light that comes after the darkness fades. (Your care packages have been my sanity savers) We have our good days, and our bad. Most of the time we are happy (no matter the sacrifices) and in love. We remind each other the reason we came here. That the motorcycle wreck helped us reevaluate our lives. And that even though right now it seems we made a major mistake, that we have had it worse in your lives. And that we will make it the best. Sounds sappy I know, but hope is all I have right now.
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