How to Mess Up the NSA and DHS

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Secret Language Confounds NSA and DHS!

The NSA, National Security Agency, is in charge of a zillion dollar computer system that spies on the people of the United States.

And, just to let you know, word has it that they are subject to the Department of Homeland Security.

Cause for alarm in any free man’s book, for these agencies seem to be the spearhead for enslaving the people of the United States.

Why else would they want to look at your emails, phone records, and otherwise invade your privacy.

And it is pretty obvious that they break the constitution at whim, and the politicians either don’t care (are criminal) or are powerless (incompetent).

So, how are we going to mess them up?

You’ve probably heard of the Wind Talkers. These were Navaho Indians during world war two who spoke in their native language and thus confounded the Japanese code breakers.

The solution would seem to be, then, to speak in Navaho. Except that you don’t know Navaho. So let’s look a little deeper and find a language that you do know, or can learn within ONE DAY, and thus be able to talk right in the face of the NSA super computers without them knowing a thing.

There are two items to be considered. The first is the structure of sentences (grammar), and the second is the structure of words.

We could get complex, but the simple truth is that the computers will search through your phone calls and texts searching for how often you use certain words.

For instance, you might use ‘and’ 1.2 times every 19 words, so they look for those 1.2 times, then they can isolate that word, the spelling of that word, and then they know three letters, which can be used in conjunction with the probability of use of other words. And they can probably do this for any language with but slight variation of the statistics of use.

Heck, they can probably cross reference languages so that no language is safe from their prying eyes.

Makes it seem difficult, eh?

Not so.

Just change the frequency of basic words, then change their spelling. There are a lot of software programs out there that will complete words, so you know NSA can complete words, or even unjumble them.

So type some word variations and substitutions into google and search for those words which the computer doesn’t complete. And change those words every time you use them.

And can become ’n,’ or ‘ad,’ and so on.

And you can even include a key for these words at the beginning of any communication.

Here is the nasty trick that NSA can’t program their computers for: the human mind unjumbles words automatically, especially if you use the first and last letters, and then mess up the letters in between the first and last letters.
Motor might be translatable by the computers to a certain degree, but when you start pushing it, spelling it ‘mter,’ the computer might break down, but the human mind will look at that and translate it.

And you can get real creative with this. ‘sd half 4 mtur 2 person talking.’ Which means ‘Send 2 motors to me.’

Then change the structure and frequency. ‘sd half 4 mtur 2 person talking,’ becomes ‘half 0 2 need by this person mters.’

We’re on the edge of understandability here, but with a little practice, people speaking to one another in this polyglot of garbage can understand each other.

Now, the last and most important thing here: computers understanding the spoken word. So how can you mess up the English language so a computer can’t follow it?

Pig Latin. There are many different forms of Pig Latin, and if you teach yourself a few of these, then you can mix and match, interchange the grammar a bit, and you’re going to see smoke bellowing out of these so-called supercomputers.

For instance, simple Pig Latin has the first letter on the end of the end of the word plus and ‘ay.’

Box becomes ‘ox-bay.’ Car becomes ‘ar-cay. And so on.

But there are more advanced forms of Pig Latin, which insert letters between the first and second letter of every syllable. For instance, consider putting an ‘ib’ between the first and second letter of every syllable.

Turncoat becomes tiburnciboat. Thumbtack becomes ‘thibumbtiback.

Believe me, the supercomputers are going to be calling for help in quicktime once you start playing with pig latin in a sentence.

And, if you want to REALLY mess up the computers, interchange types of Pig Latin.

I want you to send me flowers becomes.

I-ay wibant ou-ya ot-ta sibend em-ay flibowibers.

Simply, you mix up the sentence structure, using two forms of Pig Latin with a sentence structure that sounds like it has been made up by Yoda.

Then the computer operator will say, ‘It sounds likes like gibberish,’ and smoke will come out of his ears.

And, even if the operator knows pig latin, chances are he won’t be as practiced as you, or be able to understand two Pig Latins.

And, here’s the real kick, when they finally realize what has happened they are going to be looking for people who speak multiple forms of Pig Latin, and you could apply for a job where you get to listen to all the phone messages and texts of the NSA!

I know, sounds a bit far out there, but…who knows?

About the Author: If you want to explore this concept of Pig Latin and Secret Languages, check out ‘How to Make Your Own Secret Language,’ good for kids to play with, or for obstinate citizens to use to talk with in the face of excessive and illegal government intrusions. Go to: http://homeschoolmychildnow.com/books-by-al-case/make-secret-language/

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