A Burden of Guilt – Learning About Vaccine Dangers the Hard Way

By Joel Edwards | Guest Writer for Wake Up World

I carry a burden of guilt with me. I will carry this guilt until the day I die. I was stupid, arrogant, and naïve, and my decision may have caused permanent damage to the children I love with all of my heart.

I thought vaccines were more dangerous than most people realized, but I still thought, overall, they were worth the risk. I was too lazy to do the research. Like an idiot, I blindly trusted my doctor. This belief system was what led me to vaccinate three out of four of my children. My twins are now seven years old. They have not completely recovered from their last round of vaccines.

Both my mom and my brother, Michael, had tried to convince me to refuse vaccines. When that didn’t work, they both advocated spacing out vaccines. I did decide not to adhere to the recommended CDC schedule. We spaced out their shots, but I allowed my children to be fully vaccinated because I was thinking, as so many do, that it’s a bigger risk not to vaccinate.

On their last visit to the pediatrician, my wife wanted to allow the doctor to give them two vaccines just to get them caught up. I agreed. Immediately afterward, they both showed signs of neurological damage. My son began stuttering and my daughter started mumbling. Even today, years later, after feeding them the best food and the best supplementation, they are still not 100%.

Amazingly, even after this experience, I clung to the belief that my children’s sensitivities were the exception and not the rule. I even tried to convince myself that their symptoms were just happenstance and didn’t have anything to do with the vaccines. My brother and my mom knew better. A part of me knew better, too.

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