Psychic On: Chivalry, Is it dead?

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Q.  Is Chivalry really dead?  Hi Lynn, is there something going on particularly in the United States with men changing drastically as a group? 

For the past couple years many of my girlfriends who live in different cities throughout the United States (New York City, Phoenix & others) have had such trouble in their dating lives and especially unsuccessful in finding “the one”. These are smart successful women in their mid 20s, fit/beautiful, and kind hearted. It seems single men as a group are acting different from what we remember, as in they are pursuing a woman but then won’t pay for her meal on a date, or won’t even go on dates just invite her over all the time. Everything right away is being split down the middle, money seems to be on their mind a lot and brought up often.  It’s like you want to scream where have all the romantics gone?
 
They don’t try hard at all to impress the woman so why are they even on a dating website or telling women they’re open to anything and would love a family one day soon? Where are our ROMEOS?
A.  There are very sincere, nice guys out there, but as a group they are fighting against a growing agenda to emasculate men.  Weakening a society starts with weakening the men and creating unclear, undefined roles.  Men are being attacked on many different angles, much of which looks to be coming from the feminist movement.  I’m not referring to the people fighting for equality between the sexes (that is positive for society), I am referring to the hateful groups that use men to blame for the things they do not like in their life rather than being accountable (I’ve also seen them referred to as social justice warriors).  They feel oppressed and offended at the hands of men.

I see a scenario play out in which a man holds the door open for a woman, and IF she is attracted to him, it is warmly appreciated, IF she isn’t or is in an off mood, she is offended and wants to label him as a chauvinist.  I see much of how men act is due to them following the lead of women, and because men cannot easily predict a reaction, they just withdraw (which does appear lazy to a woman craving some old fashioned chivalry).  Men see harassment suits being filed in the media (some are very legit, and some are due to regret sex or need for attention) and are being trained to be passive.  It used to be that If a man read a signal wrong and leaned in for a kiss, a woman could back away and the event was over.  Now if he leans in and kisses her, he has to worry that she will become part of a #metoo movement.  

I get that the current dynamics of our society, with many people looking to be offended by things that aren’t offensive are shaping what friendships and relationships look like.  If women want to bring back chivalry, they have to allow men to be men.  You do not have to accept harassment, or rude behavior, but if a man smiles or says hi, don’t get offended (that is NOT a “cat” call).  Welcome tasteful comments.  Thank him if he holds a door, or pulls up to an entrance so you don’t have to walk in the rain.  You can be a confident woman who understands her worth while still appreciating that men have their virtues too and like to consciously (or subconsciously) feel like a hero.  

For the person asking the question, when you meet someone you like, or are on a dating website, be honest and clear about what you are looking for.  Put into your description that you aren’t a feminist (if that is true) and welcome old fashioned chivalry.  And when he does something nice, thank him.  We have to work at undoing what media and the agendas of weakening men are doing.  

And that is all I have for this reading.  Thank you.  Love and light-
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