The gay porn video

Now that I’m finally really retired once and for all, I’m feeling a little more empowered to dig into that big old sack ‘o memories that I overfilled during my twenty-five years at the front of a classroom.

Brad, or “B-Rad” as he briefly styled himself, was keen on being one of the cool kids when he hit high-school.

The cool kids used to go to Dominoes and get take-out for lunch. On the way to Dominoes, they passed by the XXX ADULTS ONLY video store.

Cool kids being as cool as they always are, and B-Rad desperately wanting to ingratiate himself with the cool crowd, when it was suggested to B-Rad that it would be really cool to run into the XXX shop and filch a porn video, he went for the bait immediately.

He walked in the front door, grabbed the first video at hand, and dashed out.

The store manager dashed out right behind him, and as they were dashing up the street Brad jettisoned the purloined porn over somebody’s garden wall, whereupon the store manager gave up the chase and went to retrieve his briefly-stolen goods.

Brad was the toast of the cool kids for the rest of the day.

Next morning he was summoned to the principals’s office. Awaiting him were the principal and the XXX store manager. On the table in front of them was the video that had made him, ever so briefly, cool; “Gay Studs in Action Uncensored.”

It’s a small town and word gets around. By noon Brad’s coolness factor had morphed into unmitigated catastrophe. He wasn’t the bold dude who’d ripped off a porn video. He was the grade nine weirdo who stole a GAY porn video from the video store.

That’s how Brad figured out making it into the “cool” crowd wasn’t worth the effort, and that insight truly made him a better person.