Bibi bans protests to stop spread of disease and anarchy

 The only democracy in the Middle East just imposed some none-too-democratic restrictions on personal freedoms in an attempt to curtail the spread of both the pandemic and anarchy, which have been growing in lock-step.

The anarchy manifests itself primarily through protests in front of the home of The Greatest Leader Since Moses, where assorted malcontents have been agitating for the demise of the Prime Minister’s long, long political career. They wave rude slogans like “Hail to the thief,” and “Crime Minister,” alluding to the alleged crimes that have made it all but impossible for Bibi to take a well-deserved retirement for fear of losing his parliamentary immunity from prosecution.

The new regulations will confine Israelis to withing 1km of their homes. Netanyahu anticipates that few of the anarchists live in his immediate neighbourhood, so hopefully he can look forward to some peace and quiet on the weekend… and perhaps it may slow down the virus as well.

Two birds with one shot!