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How is underwear not "essential?"

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Great news from the front lines of the pandemic! I was heading into town to pick up my blood pressure meds, and the CBC news was on the radio. New covid cases at their lowest since last September! The presenter sounded almost euphoric.

Shoppers Drug Mart has been open for the duration. That makes sense. People need their meds. While you’re in the store you can pick up a few things that may not be all that essential. That makes sense too. 
After all, you’re blowing your germs around the place anyway, so what difference could it possibly make?
With so much good covid news I thought I’d swing by Giant Tiger to see if they were still curbside pickup. Since that a-hole hedge-fund manager in Florida killed Sears Canada, Giant Tiger’s been my go-to spot for socks and underwear. That last three-pack of Fruit of the Looms I bought before covid are beyond threadbare, to the point where, even if they were fresh and clean, their disgraceful appearance would shame the family name for years to come were I to suffer an unexpected trip to the hospital.
There’s people going in and out! Alrighty! New undershorts at last!
I mask up and head in with a bounce in my step… and you wouldn’t friggin’ believe it; they’ve blocked off the entire store with yellow caution tape except half a dozen food aisles at the back. 
To my way of thinking, undershorts are every bit as essential as shoes. Just like shoes keep dogshit off your feet, shorts keep skid-marks off your Levis. You’re already in the store. If you grab some tinned tuna and a box of cereal, how will anyone be put at increased risk if you pick up a three-pack of Fruit of the Looms on your way out?
Strikes me as ridiculous. But, I’m not an expert, so what do I know…
Speaking of experts, I guess now that our numbers are at record lows those of us who’ve spent the past year denigrating them owe them an apology.
I’m sorry, experts.
But I do wonder about one thing. This record low number of new cases once again happens to happily coincide with a record low number of tests. In January daily testing peaked at over 75,000 daily. Yesterday Ontario did barely 15,000.
Gee, who would’ve expected case numbers to go down when you do 80% less testing?


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