Fear of Embarrassment

Fear of failure is a widely cited inhibitor of self-actualization. In my experience with clients and myself, that’s often not as villainous as claimed. Irrational fear of failure is a problem: a person is competent to do X and can easily survive failure, indeed learn from it, yet nonetheless, in fear of failure, doesn’t do it. But often, task-avoidance for fear of failure is rational: the person estimates that their time would be better spent on something else.

A less discussed, often more problematic and, fortunately, more ameliorable inhibitor of wise action is fear of embarrassment: that others will think less of them. A few examples:

• For fear of seeming less-than, being unwilling to ask one’s network for job leads.
• For fear of sounding awkward, not asking someone for a date.
• For fear of showing vulnerability, being too withholding.

But what to do? I offer suggestions in my PsychologyToday.com article today.