10 Hilariously Weird Children’s Books That Will Leave You Scratching Your Head

Dr. Seuss. Harry Potter. Bernstein Bears. Where the Wild Things Are. Charlotte’s Web.

What do all of these books have in common? They’re some of the most popular kid’s books in history. Anyone can read these titles and recognize them because they likely read them as kids or are currently reading them to kids.

But what about books like Children Are No Match for Fire? As a kid, was that the first book you took off the shelf when it was time for a bedtime story? Probably not.

There are children’s books that got swept under the rug – because they’re extremely weird!

Do you want to read some weird children’s books? Take a look at these 10 books that top the list!

1. The One Pig With Horns by Laurent de Brunhoff

What happens when you get mad? Does your head fall off? Probably not. While this sounds like a scene in a horror film, this is actually a kid’s book.

This book is also a little racist. The pig hates sheep – his head falls off because he gets so mad when he sees sheep or wool.

So kids…don’t get mad or turn out to be racist.

2. Children Are No Match for Fire by Carol Dean

It’s essential to teach your kids about fire safety. But there are other teaching methods aside from stop, drop and roll.

You can write and illustrate an extremely terrifying book that will make your child never want to touch a lighter.

This is exactly what Carol Dean did. The lighter, match and candlestick are pretty much deranged serial killers out to get children. This book will even give adults nightmares.

3. Where Willy Went by Nicholas Allan

Kids will eventually have to learn about the birds and the bees. But writing a children’s book all about penises, sperm, and semen? That’s what Nicholas Allan did.

The book details a sperm’s story as it makes its way into the fallopian tube and fertilizes an egg cell – also known as human reproduction.

It’s a cute way for kids to learn how they were brought into this world. But they don’t need to learn where babies come from at such a young age.

4. Ma! There’s Nothing to Do Here! by Barbara Park

We discussed a book that was from the POV of a sperm. But what about a book that’s from the POV of a growing fetus?

Okay, maybe this one isn’t as weird as the other books on this list. It’s kind of cute.

But it’s a better book for expecting parents and not for kids.

5. Otto and the Magic Potatoes by Willian Pene du Bois

Otto and the Magic Potatoes follows Otto, who’s a huge dog. He’s studied by The Baron who’s trying to find a way to grow his potatoes and roses because they’re full of water.

Makes no sense right? It gets worse when the Baron stabs Otto to find out if he’s also full of water.

Yeah…it’s one of the weirdest children’s story book ideas.

6. Outside Over There by Maurice Sendak

Here’s a fun fact: do you know the movie Labyrinth? It was actually based on this book!

It follows the same premise. Ida is going “outside, over there” to save her sister from marrying a goblin. However, Ida’s sister is an infant.

Which makes the popular David Bowie film way weirder.

7. The Lonely Doll by Dare Wright

The Lonely Doll isn’t only nightmare material for kids, any adult who picks up this book will scream in horror. The Lonely Doll is about a doll who lives alone.

Until two bears, a father and his son, start living there.

The bears start disciplining the doll, which seems more like some messed up BDSM fantasy than a kid’s book. Especially the part where the doll gets spanked.

8. Little Monkey’s Big Peeing Circus by Tjibbe Veldkamp

Yeah…this isn’t Curious George.

This book is about a “peeing circus.” What in the world is that? It’s about Little Monkey, who’s an amazing pee-er. He shows off his peeing talent by opening up a peeing circus.

However, this peeing circus caused more harm than good when girl and boy monkeys start battling to see who’s better at peeing.

The takeaway message is about gender equality; that neither men or women are better at peeing – it’s our natural biology. But it’s still a weird way to teach gender equality to kids.

9. The Starlight Barking by Dodie Smith

The Starlight Barking is actually a sequel to 101 Dalmations. But you probably never heard of this sequel, right? That’s because neither film version based its sequels off this book.

Why not? Well, the sequel is extremely messed up.

The Starlight Barking is about a plague that leaves every living being in a coma.

Yeah, definitely not the Disney film we all remember.

But it’s kind of cute. The dogs want to wake the humans, so they form a little doggie government and receive help from the dog god who lives in the sky.

But still. Just read the first book to your kids.

10. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs by Judi Barrett

This odd story is so popular, it was adapted into a film. It’s about an inventor who makes clouds produce food when it rains. Not so terrifying, right?

Well, there are more sequels in the series. The third one is the weirdest.

It’s about a group of astronauts who land on Mars and discover it rains pies on the red planet. And then suddenly, everyone wants to eat Mars pies.

Will You Read These Weird Children’s Books?

Even as adults, the books we read as children hold a special place in our hearts.

But what about weird children’s books? They terrify us, even today as adults.

If you like the weirder side of literature, pick up these books. They will fit nicely with your horror collection. Just don’t show them to your kids.

Do you like everything that’s weird? Head on to this page and see what’s popular in the weird world!

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