A Summary of the News. (Sarcasm

 A Summary of the News. (Sarcasm)

Tomorrow the world will end.
Get ready.
Iran attacks Israel
Israel attacks Iran.
Trump farted. This has been reclassified as a Federal Offence, charges will follow.
We were warned about him. He took no notice.
The financial system will collapse at midnight.
You are under surveillance.
Yes Virginia there is a Biden.
The Palestinian nation are all terrorists.
The Iranian military is a terrorist organisation. It has the terrorist characteristic of wanting to defend Israel’s designated enemies, including itself.
Israel vows revenge – and on all white peoples who are not Jewish, for their bullshit holocaust. 
The world will end the day after tomorrow. It has been postponed.
Fauci, Gates, Obama, Clinton, Schwab, walk into a vax centre……
They turn out the lights to save energy, save the planet.
Global warming has turned into global boiling (Guterres actually said that.)
The oceans will boil off by September, or tomorrow, I’m not sure.
Before it’s News is now the official organ of the State, serving up vomit.
It makes sense if you’re vaxxed, according to the editor.
Russia and China are minor nations of no significance at all.
Cows have been sent to Israel – this is monumental.
About six of them.
Ukraine is winning in Afghanistan.
The EU and NATO organisations are god.
Ordinary people are eating their food. This must be stopped.
You can help by not eating.
Sit, Boo Boo, sit.
This bullshit will be published as a community service.