Dumb Ass!

My kid and his “brother from another mother” made my day today.  My son’s best friend is this huge, black marine who looks like he is ready to hurt someone, all the time.  Dwayne (that’s not his name) also goes to college.  He was talking about this girl and how she likes him, blah, blah…  He made it sound as if it was “in the bag.”

My son was happy for him and wanted to know more so he asked him, how did he know that she liked him?  His friend said: “She helped me with my homework.”  My son looked at him and said: “That’s it?  Man… you’re a dumb-ass!”

I love my kid so much and thank God for him everyday.  He can be friends with a girl without thinking that “Good morning” means anything more.  I think that’s a good thing.  Let him get to know them well.  A lot of young men get married too quickly and later discover that lust is not love.

I remember his teenage years and one of the talks we had.  I told him: “Son, these young females are doing what mother nature tells them to do.  When those hormones hit, females loose their minds and can only think of boys.  They may look cool on the outside but, trust me, inside they are a mess and not thinking clearly.”

I know there were times when him and his “Bros” didn’t like me much.  My job is not to be liked.  One of those old, crusty sergeant types that I loved so much, taught me that. I got my sergeant stripes and he told me something along the lines of: “Listen, when you get those stripes, you can’t be one of the
guys anymore”  Yes, he did say “guys”   I can’t remember exactly but his message was not to get my feelings hurt if the same group that had loved me before, treated me like a pariah later. My job was to take care of my soldiers. That meant that I had to learn to stand alone.  I learned to make them do the right thing instead of the fun thing.  It’s the same with parenting. There were times when my kid and the boys had me channeling my inner sergeant. 
 
They made it through high school, without getting anyone pregnant, doing drugs or any of the stupid things that many of their classmates did.  They had fun without falling into self-destructive behavior. One even apologized to me, recently, for the way he had been during high school.  Lee…sigh… he used to be so inappropriate… One time, I had to explain to him how some of the things that he said or did would get him slapped with a sexual harassment complaint and fired, in the world of adults

They all attend college and work now.  They are such good kids and I love them.  Dwayne is the only one who choose the military path – he comes from a long line of Marines.  Perhaps the reason that he is still immature about girls is because of all the “guy talk” he hears, when he hangs out with the other marines.  I love soldiers but they can be so lost when it comes to women… I know.  You get to learn a lot about their ideas regarding women and relationships, when you are the only female in a group, but that may be the subject for another story.

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