Military Apprehends Pelosi Doppelganger

U.S. military assets have fudged a covert mission to apprehend House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, arresting instead a Pelosi doppelganger donning a lifelike mask that mimicked every hideous detail of Pelosi’s face, right down to the most deeply engrained wrinkles.

A confidential source involved in Trump’s war on the Deep State told RRN that the U.S. Navy Judge Advocate General’s Corps on Monday opened a sealed indictment which Donald Trump and acting AG Jeffrey Rosen had authored toward the end of Trump’s term. Trump, our source said, had given JAG the document, with instructions to unseal it once the military had completed its investigation on Pelosi and corroborated a vast list of charges that include treason and sedition.

On Monday, May 3 JAG honcho Vice Adm. John G. Hannink coordinated the arrest with Marine Corps General Gary “Lurch” Thomas, and they picked, what our source called, a Marine reconnaissance squad for the operation.

“The Marines began surveillance on Pelosi’s San Francisco home on Tuesday. They used parabolic microphones and optical gear to keep tabs on her, and they followed her to and from her house for two days, keeping track of her schedule to make sure they’d grab her when no one else was around. Her husband was out of town on business for the week, so it was the perfect time,” our source said.

The Marines, he added, tried to grab Pelosi whilst she stepped outside to check her mailbox Thursday evening. They zip tied her, gagged her, and tossed her into an unmarked van. Within minutes, as the van sped toward a clandestine safehouse, they realized they’d been duped.

“The woman looked like Pelosi, same face, same measurements, heck a nearly identical voice. But as she struggled, the Marines realized this woman, who apparently is much younger in reality than Pelosi is, had a prosthetic Pelosi mask that covered her entire head, hair and all. It was Hollywood perfection,” our source said.

Realistic masks are common in the film industry and are typically made of polyurethane and silicone.

The Pelosi imposter, our source said, carried duplicates of Pelosi’s drivers license and library card, which the Marines found when they frisked and searched her. She refused to answer questions, saying only that she was an actress hired by Pelosi.

“She refused to identify herself. I don’t think they’ve cut her loose yet. Trump wants answers,” our source said.

In closing, our source said he believes the real Nancy Pelosi was tipped off and vanished into the shadows, there to dwell while the military hunts an unknown number of carbon copies.

“The Deep State is taking drastic action to protect its own,” our source said. “They don’t want what happened to Hillary Clinton to happen to them.”

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