Interesting punctuation
Joanna Bourne, Historical Romance
Came across this in Silver Borne by Patricia Briggs, in the heroine’s viewpoint. A private detective is guarding a client. He says on the phone:
“I’m kinda hoping her soon-to-be-ex shows up,” he said softly; I thought so she wouldn’t hear him.
Semicolons always seem a bit academic and formal to me. Most times when I see one in popular fiction I feel it could be advantageously replaced by two sentences.
Fr’instance:
“I’m kinda hoping her soon-to-be-ex shows up.” He said it softly, probably so this client wouldn’t hear him.
But . . . though my editorial alternative might be slightly clearer, Briggs’ choice — or her editor’s choice . . . this ‘feels’ like an editorial correction — is maybe the better writing. It uses POV so neatly.
RITA-winning author Joanna Bourne writes historical fiction set in Revolutionary and Napoleonic France and Regency England. It was a time of love and sacrifice, clashing ideals, and really cool clothing.
Source: http://jobourne.blogspot.com/2021/09/interesting-punctuation.html
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