When Mother's Day is Tough

Mother’s Day is a holiday that is marked world-wide. Countries such as the United States, Canada, The UK, Australia, China and Japan, just to name a few, highlight the day on their yearly calendar.

Historically, Mother’s Day has been a day where children and other family members honor mothers who are nurturing and supportive. For some, it is a day of celebration, of expressing one’s love and appreciation for to a mother – or someone who is like a mother. The day is met with happiness and the sharing of joyous memories -  and the anticipation of good times to come.

However, for others, Mother’s Day is not so easy. It can bring forth sadness, loss and yearning if one’s mother has died. 

Anger and resentment can be felt by those who’ve never had a good relationship their mother.

Mother’s Day can wrench your heart if you’re own mother who you’ve been so close to has dementia or illness and cannot recognize your own face.

Or if a mother has lost a child to accident or illness, it can become a difficult day filled with enormous loss.

• What about if you gave up your child for adoption?
• Or had to terminate a pregnancy?
• Or was never able to have a child of your own? 
• Or worry that the child you gave birth to is struggling with things bigger than love can cure?

5 Tips for Getting Through The Day

In my work, anniversary dates or holidays can be especially difficult for anyone who’s experienced loss, death or the recognition of hardship in a relationship. Of all the days in the calendar year, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day tend to evoke the most profound emotional responses. And there are no cards in stationery stores that honor these painful emotions. Here are some tips to help:

1. To those of you who struggle with Mother’s Day, know you’re not alone. 
2. Give yourself permission to feel and think whatever comes from within.
3. Create a tradition that honors your needs.
4. Understand that you may feel distress days before and after Mother’s Day.
5. On this day, it’s important for you to mother yourself.