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Hump Day Humor - Questioning Grandma

Wednesday, August 19, 2026 1:34

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If you love Small Town Romance, you’re going to love this story. I posted it many years ago, but I found it still lurking in an old folder in my file cabinet.

It made me laugh out loud again so I thought I’d share it with today’s audience because many of you have joined in the last 10 years and probably hae never read this.

ORIGIN OF THIS STORY / JOKE / INCIDENT

I honestly don’t know if this was a joke or story someone made up. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s actually a true event because I know several grandmotherly types in my hometown who would have acted exactly like this!

One of my friends who grew up with me in our small Southern town sent this to me. He and I could probably name more than a dozen women, heck, make that two or three dozen, who could be the Southern grandma at the heart of this story. But let me stop talking and format the rest of this post.

SOUTHERN GRANDMA IN COURTROOM

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”

She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”

She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”

The defense attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you to the electric chair.”

TAKEAWAY TRUTH

Yes, dear readers, ladies like that still inhabit small southern towns. So, never ask one a question if you don’t want an unfiltered, strictly honest answer.

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Joan Reeves aka SlingWords: The Word Slinging Adventures of Joan Reeves

Source: https://slingwords.blogspot.com/2026/08/hump-day-humor-questioning-grandma.html

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