ADVICE TO MY DAUGHTER 10: EXPANDING YOUR TERRITORY

Although male soldiers defend the borders of their country, male policemen patrol the streets of their city, and males in general protect their families, the fact remains that women are the true territorial sex. Women are generally less violent than men, but if you do something to threaten their home or their children, you had better watch out! A woman identifies with her home and children in a way and to a degree that men do not; in a very real sense, she sees them as an extension of herself.

In many ways, this is a good thing, part and parcel of that maternal instinct that protects babies and young children from harm. But it can be taken to an unhealthy extreme. Some wives can become so territorial that they place the needs and concerns of their family over everything, even over justice, mercy, and charity. This is a trap that the Proverbs 31 wife does not fall into.

^“She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.She maketh fine linen, and selleth it;
and delivereth girdles unto the merchant” (20-24).

Notice, my daughter, how this godly wife and mother does not allow her allegiance to her family to prevent her from serving other people in her community. Yes, she does, as is proper, put the members of her household first, ensuring that they have the clothing and resources that they need. But she balances service to her family with a commitment to ministering to the needs of the less fortunate who dwell in her area of influence.

Avoid becoming so insular that you blind yourself to the plight of the poor and dispossessed. Charitable service need not take away from devotion to family. Indeed, the time you spend pouring out love to what Jesus calls the “least of these my brethren” will increase, rather than decrease, your capacity to love the family that God has put in your care.

Such a wife, who balances her duties to her home with her calling to provide for the poor, is also more likely to have a husband who is respected by the elders of his town. When a man sees his wife fulfill both her familial and civic responsibilities in a spirit of service and love, he cannot help but be inspired with a similar vision. Witnessing his wife’s success at expanding her territory beyond the confines of her home, the husband will be challenged to take more seriously his own calling to improve the community of which he is a part.

Never forget, my daughter, that the family is the most basic and essential unit of society. Tribe, town, state, and nation are all extensions of the family, and not vice versa. If all wives were Proverbs 31 wives, there would be no need for intrusive government-run welfare programs. The best way you can preserve your family from such intrusions is to demonstrate, by your charitable actions, that families make the best focal points for the renewal of broken communities.