ADVICE TO MY DAUGHTER 8: WIFELY WAGES

I used to know a man who liked to say, with a grin on his face, that whereas it took the authors of Proverbs thirty chapters to straighten out the men, it took but a single chapter to do the same for the ladies. The young woman seeking advice on how to become a godly wife need not flip back and forth through the Bible for answers. It’s all laid out, for those who have eyes to see, in Proverbs 31. Since this lovely chapter offers a sort of one-stop shopping for would-be brides, I will devote five entries to mining its timeless wisdom.

“Who can find a virtuous woman?” the passage begins, “for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life” (10-12).

Rest assured, my daughter, that a virtuous wife is a treasure whose value surpasses the most precious of gems. The modern world tends to rank things in terms of their monetary value. Things no longer have essential value; they are worth just as much as they can fetch on the open market. The reason that the last half decade has seen a devaluing of the labors of the housewife is that the market does not ascribe a set income to the work that wives and mothers perform within the non-unionized confines of their home.

Now, there have been some good, sincere people who have tried to rectify this situation by calculating how much money a wife would be paid for each of the tasks she does at home. Their intentions in calculating the salary of the housewife were certainly admirable, but I’m afraid they missed the whole point. What makes the work of the housewife so valuable is that no price can be put on what she does. Even if one could assign a wage to cooking, cleaning, washing, and childcare, the figure would leave out the most vital thing of all.

A housewife doesn’t merely work in the home; she creates the home. Though I generally avoid euphemisms, the word “homemaker” describes more accurately the ultimate task of the Proverbs 31 wife: to make a human place where her family can dwell in peace, safety, and joy. Such a wife gains the full and eager trust of her husband, for he knows that she will bring only good to him and their children.

My daughter, if you want to meet a truly happy and fulfilled wife, then look for one whose husband trusts her. You can spot her right away, for she possesses a confidence and self-esteem that other women struggle to achieve. She knows that she is valued by those she loves and that they themselves feel loved by her.

If you would be that wife yourself some day, then learn to do good and bring good to others. Learn to run an organized and efficient home, but make that organization and efficiency work to the overall joy and wellbeing of your family. Take pride in the fact that your family lacks for nothing, but make sure that the main thing they do not lack is your goodness and love.