NINE THOUGHTS TO PONDER

Number 9: Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

Number 8:Life is sexually transmitted.

 Number 7: Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 Number 6: Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. _IF YOU SEE A GLEAM IN HIS EYES, MAKE HIM A SANDWICH._

 Number 5: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

 Number 4: Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

 Number 3: All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

 Number 2: In the 60′s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

 Number 1: Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

 … and as someone recently said to me: Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long.