Super Bowl Safe from Nuclear Terrorist Attack

Contrary to some recent headlines here, I can assure everyone that the Super Bowl is safe from a nuclear terrorist attack. 

First, common sense tells you, if you look at the stadium, that it is a landing platform for a large flying saucer from the planet Nibiru. I have been able to confirm what my eyes tell me because the stadiums exits line up perfectly with the hatches of a Nibiru saucer that I obtained plans for from Area 51 when I worked as a civilian contractor for the military at that site. 

If you don’t believe the stadium is a landing platform, all you have to do is look just outside of Phoenix, and you’ll see what happened when a Nibiru mothership took off from earth without a proper docking station. Meteor crater is the result of a saucer’s nuclear escape-velocity engines firing up without a proper containment platform beneath the ship.

Now you might be asking whey the stadium would have so many seats in it if it is a landing platform. That only shows how little you understand the Nibiruleans. They love — I mean absolutely love like it’s the greatest thing on earth (or any other planet) — a good weenie roast. So, whenever a saucer is getting ready to blast off, thousands of Nibiruleans living in Phoenix gather inside the containment area to roast their weenies in the comfort their own seats. Of course, with such intense heat, more than just their weenies roast; but that’s O.K. They like that.

Once common sense has confirmed for you that the stadium is a saucer landing platform, you know that it can never be blown up by a nuclear bomb because 1) it’s built for nuclear containment, and 2) Nibiru would never allow that. Nibirruleans are huge on pollution control. The entire stadium is designed to contain the fallout from their nuclear engines when they come for weekend trips to Phoenix. So, it is loaded with nuclear sensors capable of detecting even the slightest particle of nuclear material that might be escaping the landing platform. Naturally, any sensor that can detect radiation moving out of the containment ring can also detect radiation moving in. So, if anyone were trying to move a nuclear bomb into the stadium, the Nibirulean Earth Environmental Protection Agency (NEEPA) would be there in minutes to protect Phoenix from having to rise form its ashes once again. The containment platform is built to protect Phoenix from the same kind of thing that happened at Meteor Crater before the saucer station was built.

Recent articles have stated that Obama is planning a false-flag operation and will be blowing up the stadium during the opening of the Super Bowl when all eyes are watching. Fear not. Think about that: Obama plotting to blow up the Super Bowl? Obama can’t even properly blow up the Middle East. How’s he going to blow up the Super Bowl if he cannot blow up ISIS with the entire U.S. military unrestrained at his disposal, a full nuclear arsenal, and a quad-zillion-dollar budget?

So, for those going to the game in person, I would not even bother with your missile hats. Obama is not going to rain a missile down upon you. And don’t worry about a Nibirulean ship landing either. Nibiru has rented the launch site out to the NFL for the game so that others can enjoy it. (They’re very nice like that. In fact, they are so nice that they would have filled in Meteor Crater after the launch incident, except that the City of Phoenis asked them to leave it that way. They said it would make a good tourist attraction and that they will eventually need it as water reservoir.

So, everybody, enjoy your Super Bowl game! May your team win, so long as it is the same team I’m rooting for.