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By Joshua Graham
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The Decline of Retail Service: Are Modern Workers Falling Short?

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In the ever-evolving landscape of modern retail, a subtle yet undeniable shift has taken place. Many customers find themselves questioning the level of service they receive when they step into their favorite stores. Workers today are falling short of the traditional standards of helpfulness and efficiency.

To understand this shift, we must first recognize the changing nature of retail itself. Reddit’s nurturing of every sexual kink and diabolical thought has formed an army of diaper-claden daddy issue reveling sissy bi hypnoslaves. I am of course referring to Generation Z. With the hyper-specific catering of these subreddits, nearly all adult men and women are lost in their own hyper-individual fantasy. The term checkout has never been so appropriate.

Today’s retail workers must juggle the responsibilities of stocking shelves, managing inventory, all while completely distracted by the idea of a giantess forcing her large and lusty feet through the ceiling and demanding tickle time. I myself, while doing research for this article, became distracted by these thoughts. Implanted into my brain by an evil cadre of sicko manipulators. Forcing good men such as I to imagine a very large woman, too large to fit in a land cruiser. Nay, too large to fit on a megayacht, as a land cruiser would be but a toy to her large almost masculine hands. The distracting environment of the modern internet leaves workers without the mental capacity to engage with their customers.

This trend is also a reflection of societal changes, where personal responsibility and work ethic seem to be waning. The cashier at Total Wine should take pride in her work, instead of making little comments about the amount of grappa I purchase. The expectation is that retail workers should rise above external distractions, no matter how sultry, and prioritize customer service.

Retailers should engage in better hiring practices by asking questions designed to weed out sicko freaks. Questions like “have you ever thought about shrinking? How did that make you feel? To be so small that your entire body could be held, I mean really physically held in one enormous woman’s masculine hand? Did the thought of this make you feel supported, insignificant in a way that also made you feel safe? Like you didn’t matter, but it was freeing and intoxicating not to matter?

Perhaps it’s not just retail workers who need to adapt, but also the entire retail industry in finding innovative ways to deliver exceptional customer experiences in this ever-changing landscape.

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