Read the Beforeitsnews.com story here. Advertise at Before It's News here.
Profile image
By Sovereign Man (Reporter)
Contributor profile | More stories
Story Views
Now:
Last hour:
Last 24 hours:
Total:

Future Headline: Fed Says New Pandemic is the Only Way to Bring Down Inflation

% of readers think this story is Fact. Add your two cents.


In a world full of unimaginable absurdity, we spend a lot of time thinking about the future… and to where all of this insanity leads.

“Future Headline Friday” is our satirical take of where the world is going if it remains on its current path. While our satire may be humorous and exaggerated, rest assured that everything we write is based on actual events, news stories, personalities, and pending legislation.

July 28, 2025: Fed Says New Pandemic is the Only Way to Bring Down Inflation

With inflation remaining stubbornly high at 5%, well above the Federal Reserve’s 2% target, for the fourth year in a row, the Fed seems ready to throw in the towel with its current set of policy tools.

“We’ve exhausted all of our normal tactics,” Fed Chairman Jerome Powell said at today’s press conference following the Fed’s normal July meeting. “At first, back in 2022, we denied that inflation existed. But very few people believed us; it turns out too many Americans were visiting grocery stores and filling up their cars with gasoline.”

“Next we figured if we said enough times that it was transitory, we could manifest it with the Law of Attraction. But that didn’t work either.”

“Then we thought, ‘hey why not pass a law to bring inflation down’ and we were hoping Congress would just enact new legislation banning inflation outright. Unfortunately that didn’t do the trick, but we got the next best thing with the Inflation Reduction Act.”

“You know the deal with legislation, it’s all about the name— and believe me, I was more surprised than anyone that inflation didn’t respect the Inflation Reduction Act.”

Inflation did fall to 3% in 2023. However, inflation quickly rose back to a range of 5-8% after energy prices soared in late 2023. Many economists blame the Biden Administration’s anti-fossil fuel energy policies, and the passage of the Green New Deal in 2024, which triggered enormous increases in food and fuel prices.

Powell addressed stubbornly high inflation in his remarks, when he said, “We tried raising interest rates for four years now, but it hasn’t gotten the job done, and in many respects, things are much worse now since so many banks have failed due to higher interest rates, and now even the Treasury is nearing default, so we really have to try something new.”

“So today, I am introducing a new tool— the only proven way that inflation was eradicated for a short time during my tenure— a new pandemic.”

Powell explained that the Federal Reserve is in talks with the Chinese government to go through the catalog of indexed viruses, to see if any might be just what the economy needs.

The Fed calls the new tool COVID, which stands for Currency Optimization Via Infectious Disease.

The plan is to release a new virus into the population, and let public health officials do their work.

“If you think back to how great the economy was during the last pandemic, it’s pretty obvious we need to create those conditions again. So let’s bring out another virus, slash interest rates to zero, and print tons of money again. What could possibly go wrong?”

One disruptive reporter asked whether the Fed’s new COVID policy would create new supply chain dysfunction and future economic havoc.

“We don’t anticipate that printing trillions more dollars will have any negative impact on the economy. The important thing is just making sure people cower in fear inside their homes.”

Source

Simon Black is an international investor, entrepreneur and permanent traveler. His daily letter is both educational and entertaining, and we suggest that those who want unbiased, actionable information about global opportunities sign up for Sovereign Man’s free, actionable newsletter at http://www.SovereignMan.com.

From Simon Black of SovereignMan.com


Source: https://www.sovereignman.com/future-headline/future-headline-fed-says-new-pandemic-is-the-only-way-to-bring-down-inflation-147953/


Before It’s News® is a community of individuals who report on what’s going on around them, from all around the world.

Anyone can join.
Anyone can contribute.
Anyone can become informed about their world.

"United We Stand" Click Here To Create Your Personal Citizen Journalist Account Today, Be Sure To Invite Your Friends.

Please Help Support BeforeitsNews by trying our Natural Health Products below!


Order by Phone at 888-809-8385 or online at https://mitocopper.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST

Order by Phone at 866-388-7003 or online at https://www.herbanomic.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST

Order by Phone at 866-388-7003 or online at https://www.herbanomics.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST


Humic & Fulvic Trace Minerals Complex - Nature's most important supplement! Vivid Dreams again!

HNEX HydroNano EXtracellular Water - Improve immune system health and reduce inflammation.

Ultimate Clinical Potency Curcumin - Natural pain relief, reduce inflammation and so much more.

MitoCopper - Bioavailable Copper destroys pathogens and gives you more energy. (See Blood Video)

Oxy Powder - Natural Colon Cleanser!  Cleans out toxic buildup with oxygen!

Nascent Iodine - Promotes detoxification, mental focus and thyroid health.

Smart Meter Cover -  Reduces Smart Meter radiation by 96%! (See Video).

Report abuse

    Comments

    Your Comments
    Question   Razz  Sad   Evil  Exclaim  Smile  Redface  Biggrin  Surprised  Eek   Confused   Cool  LOL   Mad   Twisted  Rolleyes   Wink  Idea  Arrow  Neutral  Cry   Mr. Green

    MOST RECENT
    Load more ...

    SignUp

    Login

    Newsletter

    Email this story
    Email this story

    If you really want to ban this commenter, please write down the reason:

    If you really want to disable all recommended stories, click on OK button. After that, you will be redirect to your options page.