Together

Yes, we know Trump won. We also know Tiff blinked again. And that the wars are going badly.

But today let’s dive into something more profound. Hormones. And what to do about them. It seems lately a lot of people have been giving up on marriage, which may help explain a few other things.

First, an admission. My squeeze, Dorothy, and I are not normal. We met at 17, married at 21 (she refused me for two years) and had a fiftieth three years ago. We got together for each other, not for a family. The relationship’s been instrumental in allowing experiences – successes and failures – in business, public life, finances, media, entrepreneurship and risk-taking. We never knew it would turn out like this. But no surprise. It’s hard to imagine doing it all alone.

Are we dinos?

Yeah, probably. Four decades ago 60% of Canadians were married. Now it’s a shade over 40%. In some places (looking at you, Quebec) only a minority are legally hitched. Routinely these days Millennials, and now Zs, complain couples can’t afford to get married or do married stuff – like get a house and grow kids. A majority of people in polls say marriage is quaint but irrelevant. They still couple, but they don’t take vows.

By the way, Canada’s divorce rate has fallen sharply in recent years. But it’s not good news. Splits are less common now because the marriage rate has also declined while the population ages. Still, about four in ten marriages fail. Six in ten second marriages end badly. People over 50 tend to stay married. And anyone who’s gone through an unhappy unravelling knows what a financial and emotional quagmire that can be.

But is divorce – or inflation and crazy house prices – enough reason not to make that commitment?

This is not a relationship blog. (Not sure what it is, actually.) But let’s detail some of the reasons why people with successful unions tend to be… more successful. Wealthier, in general, too. It’s not just a fluke according to a bevy of stats and data.

Like this: the share of married couples in the bottom income quartile in the States is just 12%. Marrieds in the two middle-income groups equals 49%. And in the top quartile financially, 86% are married. This doesn’t seem like a coincidence. Because it’s not. At all ages, married couples have more accumulated wealth.

The financial advantages of marriage are legion. And some cannot be replicated just by moving in together. Studies show marrieds tend to pool their incomes, capital and savings rather than maintaining separate accounts. That helps financial planning. It stems debt accumulation. It allows efficiency in terms of taxes and investments. It makes a joint retirement more successful, plus helps in major purchases, like houses and cars. The commitment to each other, the family and household deepens along with the sharing. Which makes complete sense. Once you marry, you’re an economic unit. E pluribus unum, baby.

Marriage makes most people happier, too. It helps you age. Getting old sucks. Middle age is a minefield. Leaving the workforce, a career or a professional identity can be shockingly hard. Having a life partner who goes through the changes with you, giving continuity and support – as well as tummy rubs (or wherever) – can make a big difference. And happy people live longer. They’re healthier. Plus the more wealth accumulated, the less stress. The runway gets longer.

Financially, married people can easily pension-split and income-split. Spousal plans let you reduce household taxation, while spousal loans allow investment capital to flow unimpeded for best efficiency. Joint non-registered investment accounts can also reduce the government take, while registered accounts can grow tax-free, then be passed on intact to your spousal bene. A married couple can borrow more, buy more, finance more and invest more effectively. Two people working together can avoid overlap, duplication, excessive risk and bad choices. They can support each other in careers, family duties, then in later life and legacy.

The advice is simple. Find the right person – no easy task when hormones are involved. Talk about sharing and the future. Get married. Stay married.

If you are as favoured as we’ve been, your relationship will evolve. From lust and love, to loyalty, then the best possible place. Trust.

About the picture: “Here we thought things were getting boring yesterday but the words “ walk” came out of my mouth and, predictably, my dogs went nuts,” writes Leigh in Ontario. “Here is Vader, my 3 year old Australian Shepherd, fresh from rolling and snorting away in the snow.  Ah the life of a dog! Thanks for sharing your ideas and wisdom Garth.”

To be in touch or send a picture of your beast, eail to ‘[email protected]’.