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The return of the 'creative' estate agents

Tuesday, May 21, 2024 7:44

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A while ago I featured one of the more creative examples of the estate agents’ art of describing properties for sale in euphemistic terms. It was an inaccessible house in the middle of a wood that used to be a sand quarry just a mile across the suburbs from Schloss Drew. The agent termed it “Charming Home in Very Secluded Location. Extremely Leafy Outlooks“.

Well, now the same agent has another property to shift, this time even closer to the Drew residence; and the circumstances are not dissimilar as you can see from a pic I took myself. The vocab they’ve reached for looks awfully similar, too.

Unique Secluded Location With Leafy Outlooks … Large Rear Garden With Leafy Backdrop

One hopes prospective buyers will do their own DD, because ‘leafy’ is not the only aspect of the backdrop. This place is in another wood that used to be a sand quarry, where the enterprising local youth have created an elaborate BMX bike course with some fairly stiff obstacles and jumps. When, several decades ago, I was a local councillor, this was in my patch: and the warmest applause I ever received at a public meeting was when I vowed I would ensure the Council would put a stop to the BMX-ers here. Revisiting the site of my political triumph this week, I discovered to my amazement that, not only has the Council evidently given up the struggle now, they’ve even conferred an ironic blessing upon the victors by erecting a sign eschewing all responsibility for maintaining the private-enterprise course, so that anyone using it does so at their own risk!

A little deeper into the wood there is, I find, a quite enormous tree house built of railway sleepers and huge steel bolts. By whom? I must try to find out. It’s of a construction that had me looking all around for signs of zipwires etc, but I could find none. Again, every indication this is an entirely freelance venture – no Council ‘elf-n-safety officer would dare to be seen anywhere near it.

“Unique location” and “leafy” it may indeed be – but I’m less sure about secluded … Anyone got other nice examples of the estate agents’ art?

Source: http://www.cityunslicker.co.uk/2024/05/the-return-of-creative-estate-agents.html

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