SERCO wins bid to run UK as Victorian theme park

(satire?)

In the face of fierce competition from Virgin, G4S and Disney, British outsourcing company Serco has won a multi-million pound contract to run the UK as a Victorian-themed fun park.

The coalition government announced that Serco, in partnership with other private outsourcing companies, had won the four-year contract to operate the country as a theme park where tourists from all over the world will be able to experience first-hand people with disabilities begging for food on street corners and pregnant women queuing for hours in front of authentic looking soup kitchens.

In what is being called a British corporate success story, Serco was selected to deliver the contract which will include an ambitious 2-year plan to develop large areas of overcrowded housing in major urban areas, numerous slums to be built on existing green belt land and the introduction of visible poverty on an industrial scale across most parts of England, Wales and Scotland.

The contract - under which tourists will be able to watch authentic paupers working in authentically dangerous conditions for meagre rations of gruel, dry bread and unclean water in factories, work houses or Tesco - is also expected to include a provision for the re-introduction into the British education system of traditional Victorian diseases such as cholera, scurvy and typhoid.

.

Related articles by Tom Pride:

Third-World Britain – over 25% of parents struggling to feed kids during school holidays

A Modest Proposal to Cut The Cost of Keeping the Unemployed Alive by Housing Them in Tesco!

Jobseekers Fight For Workfare Placements in NHS Hospital After Cameron Announces Vasectomy Operation There

A4e Claims Success In Getting Taxpayers Money Off Benefits & Into Its Own Pockets

Workfare = Workhouse?

Did you know the government is subsidising McDonald’s with taxpayers money – your money?

The government has finally done something so outrageous even I can’t be bothered to satirise it

Struggling to find words to describe this government? Here’s a list to help you.

Tory minister – no shortage of jobs for disabled toddlers

Department of Work & Pensions – Death No Reason Not To Be Classified As ‘Fit For Work’

Government Responds To Banking Crisis By Cutting Benefits For Disabled Kids

Government – Light-Touch Regulation Of The Disabled To Blame For Economic Crisis

.

Please feel free to comment – you don’t need to register and I’m extremely minimal with the moderating – so please go ahead.

.

By the way, if you click on any of these buttons below, you’ll be doing me a big favour by sharing this article with other people. Thanks: