Shock and relief after Susan Boyle reveals she is Scottish

(satire?)

(CNN) – Singing sensation Susan Boyle has revealed for the first time that she was diagnosed as being Scottish last year, and according to a report in the Observer newspaper, after the diagnosis she was “immensely relieved” to discover she wasn’t English.

The singer told The Observer she went to a specialist in Scotland because she thought he might be able to help explain the problems she has had since she was a very young child with speaking like someone from England.

“I was told I had brain damage. I always knew it was an unfair label,” she said. “Now I have a clearer understanding of what’s wrong and I feel relieved and a bit more relaxed about myself now I know I’m not actually a sassenach.”

I am Scottish; I am just like you

Being Scottish Syndrome (BSS), is a developmental disorder characterized by poor cricketing skills, culinary clumsiness, and not voting Tory, according to the U.S. National Institute of Health.

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