Michael Gove claims he was stuck in toilet known as ‘westminster’ for 4 years

(satire?)

Former Education Secretary Michael Gove has explained how he allowed UK schools to be taken over by religious fundamentalists – claiming he was stuck in a riverside toilet in London for over 4 years.

The toilet – known as the Houses of Parliament – has caused problems for visiting government ministers in the past with one even claiming to have been imprisoned there for over 40 years.

Mr Gove – who was unceremoniously sacked last week as Education Secretary in a cabinet reshuffle – explained the reason why he allowed schools in the UK to be taken over by fundamentalist religious activists:

“I was stuck in a big toilet down in London called ‘Westminster’ for 4 years so I had no idea what was going on. I survived on cocktails, champagne dinners and taxpayer subsidised 5-course lunches which obviously meant I was unable to stop our schools being sold off to any Tom Dick or Harry who wanted to have one as a trophy.“

The explanation comes not long after a separate fundamentalist plot was uncovered – also during Mr Gove’s stint as Education Secretary – to take over UK schools and force them to adhere to extremist principles espoused by radical hard-line zealots belonging to a shadowy extremist Conservative group known as the ‘DfE‘ (Department for Education) as well as engineer the sacking of head teachers who did not promote the hard-line right-wing organisation’s ideals.

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