BREAKING….Global stocks crash ‘entirely down to Jeremy Corbyn’
Former adviser to Gordon Brown Damian McBride came out of some strange and as yet unidentified closet last night to proclaim that his former boss had prevented a cataclysmic Gotterdammerung solar system Apocalyptic meltdown by “nationalising the banking system during the 2008 crash”. Commentators from all points of the political sundial rushed to conclude that McBride was referring to the mass bailout that left us all with a £1.4 trillion debt and liabilities millstone on Mr Broooon’s watch.
“Stock up on canned goods and bottled water as stock markets around the world slide,” suggested McBollocks, “because now Gordon is no longer around to save the world from Jeremy Corbyn, the election of this convicted Stalinist Hamass murderer must surely lead to civil disorder whereinunder no self-respecting Man of the People will be able to leave the house in order to vote for Andy Burnbum”.
Warming to his theme, Herr McBride opined, “It is a well known fact accepted by all suitably informed people of a progressively braindead nature that the single biggest catalyst for this disaster was Jeremy Corbyn denying he had shared bodily fluids with Hamas and Hezbollah leaders, for this led directly to the Arabian markets’ loss of confidence yesterday from which the Chinese who used to be Communists just like Korbynvitch took their lead and lost another 8.5% of something through sheer carelessness following which Labour Party futures fell like a stone onto the FTSE and the ripples hit everything else or something like that”.
Condemning outright this obvious and utterly pernicious Communist attack on free markets, President Barrack Roomdrama vowed to avenge all those patriotic shareholders who had seen their 300% profit margins wiped out by “this beardy-weirdy Brit agitator and his nihilist supporters who would do anything to put down the best economic system the world has ever seen under my consistently hopeful American dream of making no we can’t mean yes we can”.
LATE FLASH: ‘Jeremy Corbyn abused my hamster before barbecuing my sister’ says wife of Sun journalist
Filed under: .Global stocks crash ‘entirely down to Jeremy Corbyn’ Tagged: Barack Obama, Damian McBride, Gordon Brown, Jeremy Corbyn, The Sun
Source: https://hat4uk.wordpress.com/2015/08/24/breaking-global-stocks-crash-entirely-down-to-jeremy-corbyn/
Anyone can join.
Anyone can contribute.
Anyone can become informed about their world.
"United We Stand" Click Here To Create Your Personal Citizen Journalist Account Today, Be Sure To Invite Your Friends.
Please Help Support BeforeitsNews by trying our Natural Health Products below!
Order by Phone at 888-809-8385 or online at https://mitocopper.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST
Order by Phone at 866-388-7003 or online at https://www.herbanomic.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST
Order by Phone at 866-388-7003 or online at https://www.herbanomics.com M - F 9am to 5pm EST
Humic & Fulvic Trace Minerals Complex - Nature's most important supplement! Vivid Dreams again!
HNEX HydroNano EXtracellular Water - Improve immune system health and reduce inflammation.
Ultimate Clinical Potency Curcumin - Natural pain relief, reduce inflammation and so much more.
MitoCopper - Bioavailable Copper destroys pathogens and gives you more energy. (See Blood Video)
Oxy Powder - Natural Colon Cleanser! Cleans out toxic buildup with oxygen!
Nascent Iodine - Promotes detoxification, mental focus and thyroid health.
Smart Meter Cover - Reduces Smart Meter radiation by 96%! (See Video).