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Transport Minister Chris Grayling has suggested that morons should have a ‘long, hard think‘ before becoming Secretary of State for Transport.
“Look at me,” he said in a recent interview, “I know nothing about this diesel emission malarkey so in that respect I’m a bit of a moron. I have to accept what I’m told by a bunch of dodgy activist experts. I’m not really a moron, but I don’t know the difference between diesel emissions and camel farts so what is a chap to do?”
When faced with further questioning, Mr Grayling seemed unsure about the potential effects of diesel emissions.
“I know the emissions could do really bad things, as bad as making babies’ heads explode or leaving sexist comments on Twitter,” he explained, “but I can’t help feeling that these problems ought to have been thrashed out earlier.”
When asked what he meant by the phrase “thrashed out earlier,” Mr Graying snapped, “thrashed out before I was landed with this job of course. I know it’s all enviro-bollocks but I’m not in a position to turn down such a lucrative position with so many networking possibilities. I can put up with talking bollocks, but I don’t have to enjoy it.”