Exclusive: No Putin Invasion Of Ukraine

French diplomat confirms: ‘no new Russian troops in the Donbass’.

‘President Biden’s sanctions package, announced Tuesday, was useful, as was the German decision to halt moving forward with the Nordstream 2 gas pipeline from Russia. But these moves won’t stop Putin, who is obsessed with restoring his warped vision of Russian greatness’ – Philadelphia Enquirer

The American mainstream media calling anyone ‘warped’ is up there with Adolf Hitler calling Ernst Rohm a pervert, but the main warp speed I can see in all this is the crew of USS Enterprise heading at Factor 9 for an invasion that still hasn’t happened. It’s like watching one never-ending ‘dog with a bone’ interview by a Jeremy Paxman style TV interviewer:

“Yes, but has Mr Putin actually invaded anywhere yet?” he asks. General Ernest G. Rockfist Jr replies:

“Well, he’s sent troops to the Donbass…”

“He’s signed an order allowing that, but have they invaded?”

“To the best of my intelligence going forward at this moment in time, there are Russian troops in the Donbass space, yessir”.

“But have any shots been fired?”

“I have no definitive affirmation on that point, but that’s Putin, see? He’s slippier than snot on a glass doorknob, it’s a stealth invasion….”

“Your intelligence named three dates when you were sure he’d invade, but he didn’t….”

“Technically, that is correct sir…we caught the little bastard out so he had to change his plans”

“I see. Do you have any photographic evidence of Russian troops in the Donbass?”

“Not as such sir, no. But they’re there alright, an’ that’s why we godda have sanctions”

I spent a couple of hours last night online trying to establish the truth or otherwise of whether any invasion had taken place. American sources said the White House was “unclear on the subject”.

But first thing this morning, a Parisian source told me this:

“It is now clear that there have been Russian peacekeeping troops in the Donbass for at least five years. Their presence there has been maintained. Putin has signed a decree allowing for further troops to go there, but there is no NATO evidence as yet that any new troops have arrived“.

So it’s official: Vladimir Putin has not invaded the Ukraine. Full-time base on Mars not established today. No additional multi-pathogen deaths among over 75s globally last year. January 6th 2021 not an insurrection, fact checkers say. No western politicians condemning behaviour of Canadian copthugs just yet.

IABATO!

Stay tuned.