EXPLOSIVE: More candy to be taken from babies this Autumn

This generation is becoming rapidly accustomed to hearing tripe on Sky news, amateur-night analysis on the BBC and the bleeding obvious during sport commentaries. Today, The Slog reveals how the puppeteers are gearing up to give out lots more of it in a concerted blitz – starting with Contrick2 in mid-September, and then moving on to a Winter of Faux Fear. Whether this will be enough to distract the multiply-gendered person on the Clapham Smartphone remains to be seen.

“Yes, they made him Man of the Match because of his speed and ability to go past people with the rball” said the commentator as a penalty shoot-out loomed last Saturday. It is a little-known fact that many soccer stars find it very hard to take the ball with them when proceeding towards goal, on account of only being able to use their feet. Further, as you can only score a goal if you’ve got the ball with you, it doesn’t do to leave it behind.

But this sort of observational obvious is what it takes to be the “expert” Number Two commentator on Cup Final day. For saying things like “he’s very good coming forward from the back”, Sky Sport probably pays one-time striker with RedLester Rovers Ricky Netter £400,000 a year. So the next time you’re told that Bill Fauci and Dame Chris Whitty are experts on public health, be patient: it won’t be long before one of them says, “this is a vaccine” or “it’s always important to wear a mask because this is an airborne virus that can get through the mask”. In fact, far better to be patient than a patient with this shower, because their game is – variously – depopulation, Chinese Checkers, economic destruction, lying, pretending to be human, hanging around playgrounds and culling care home residents.

There remains, nevertheless, the consideration of what the Mad Mendacity Milieu will do next. So here are some clues. (Even if only very briefly, the satire ends here)

Medium-to-high-sources in Canada, Germany, France, the UK and Italy have, over the last two days, confirmed that detailed preparations are already in place for draconian personal freedom of movement measures to be imposed – the rationale being a serious public health threat.

The similarity between the leaks – controls to begin early/mid September, a massive new drive towards mandatory vaccination, punitive tax implications for non-compliance and new super-mask availability – is sufficient for me to give them high credibility….especially as the five informants do not know each other. Two of the five also mentioned cash rewards being under consideration for denouncing non-compliance, and one spoke compellingly about children being removed from families to re-education centres.

Already, the directional road signs are there for all to see. It looks very much like Climate Change will be the next false fear factor. This from La Dépeche:

La Dépeche runs the headline ‘Let’s open our eyes’ – a contention based entirely on ten days of unseasonable heat here, while omitting to mention that after next Tuesday, temperatures will fall back to 21°C.

Last year, the tabloids were full of forest fires in five continents, but woefully missing when it emerged that some 86% of them were shown to be the result of criminal pyromania from California to Queensland via Provence.

Five days ago, Le Monde ran seven separate ‘climate disaster’ stories – but throughout French media, the scenario depicted is always the same: (a) the war in Ukraine is making the emissions problem worse; and (b) the lost wheat and corn production will be exacerbated by increased crop failure in a hotter climate.

I debunked point (b) three days ago. The emissions garbage at (a) is frankly beyond belief. The US creation of an Arab Spring (sic) via shock, awe and lots of war in the early Naughties was on a vastly larger scale over a longer period of time. I don’t remember anyone talking about “the global date disaster” at the time.

But bizarre or not, there seems to be an element of ‘testing the water’ to everything run by the Slave State Media now. If nobody calls “foul” as the silly seasons get sillier, then we shall be the unfortunate recipients of 24/7 psycho-Ops…..until one day we get a letter from the bank saying the family home is now worth £1.25p, but can be exchanged for a Smartie.

So along the way forward into the future, what will the corporacratic clowns eventually try and use as a distraction from the digitally reset, high-interest rate, slow vaccine death stagflation they have created?

Back now from painful reality to surreal satire. See if you can spot the difference.

Sincerely,

His Imperial Majesty Boris I