A very sensible woman

The Daily Mash ran another article about [people like] me:

A WOMAN carefully plans every car journey she makes around not having to do any right-hand turns. Emma Bradford also has a wide range of other non-negotiable driving policies including not going anywhere she might have to parallel park, avoiding the motorway and not driving in the dark.

Bradford’s husband Nathan said: “First it was not driving in heavy rain. Then it was avoiding any towns in rush hour. Now she won’t go anywhere if she can’t evaluate the size of the car park on Google Maps first. Basically, if she can only turn left the whole way, never have to reverse, not have to do a hill start and be guaranteed a space with no other vehicles parked within ten metres, she’s totally fine.”

That pretty much sums up my policies, apart from not using the motorway (they are easy and fun) or hill starts (no fun, but easy enough). Why is that deserving of satire?